Androgenism

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Over the past year, I'm starting to become more aware and to grips with my gender identity. What follows is how I've progressed over the past few months:
-I have a more feminine approach towards others. Often times, I abandon the fact that I am male and stay around females because guys are weird.
-Gender by society standards dictates how you have sex, but not a relationship. Hard to explain and I don't want to offend anyone, but I get this feeling that sex was meant to be a certain way (else, humans would not be able to reproduce). But at the same time, I recognize that sex can be pleasurable, but it is best to avoid otherwise as it is designed by nature for reproduction. I'm a virgin for the record.
-Practices that society dictates the practices that males/females conform to, but we should get a choice to decide. I can guarantee the day I move out, I'm growing out my hair. My parents claim that it's not right for my hair to be long, but I want my hair long enough to still be considered a guy, but short enough to be considered a girl from a distance. For years, my clothes could be worn easily by both genders and I've adopted certain practices such as shaving my underarms and legs behind my parent's backs. They would definitely forbid me from doing it, but it's not right otherwise to me.

I still want to know if what I am doing is okay, because I feel like I am the only one to think or do these things right now, except a gay friend who does similar actions.

There's seriously nothing wrong with it.

I have a pretty androgynous appearance myself and have been described by some as appearing both feminine and masculine at the same time. Heck, I'm male, but when I recently showed a photo of myself in a particular topic on here (different forum section), someone immediately mistook me for a girl, much to my own amusement and satisfaction. I dont particularly ACT specifically like either gender, also.

And really, that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. I say, if someone has an issue with that about me, well... tough. I'll do as I like, thanks, and nobody will dictate otherwise. Fortunately my parents have always been very accepting of whatever damn strange thing I might do (if you could call this "strange", which I suppose to some it is, but I really dont care...) and I've not had a problem with them.

But really, I'd say, just do what you want to do. If it makes you happy and satisfies you, then go for it! When you can, that is. I can understand that friction with parents/family can sometimes get in the way. I dont have advice for that specific bit, but others on here probably do.

I act like both, which seems weird to a lot of people.

Feh, alot of things seem weird to alot of people and often not for any particularly definable reason. Or in some cases, not for any sane reason.

In this case, with this sort of thing, I often wonder sometimes if people are getting bothered not by how someone else nearby might seem, but how THEY might then seem, if associated with that person. For instance, if you get some guy that dislikes gays; does he genuinely believe that being gay is wrong? Or is it that having someone like that near him is an affront to his "manliness" because he might be associated with that guy simply by being nearby? That's an impression I often get from watching people in situations like that. Annoyingly, this is often followed by the person in question immediately making an ass of themselves.

I personally prefer to just not give a damn if people have that sort of reaction to me for whatever reason. If someone has that reaction, it doesnt really say to me "Well there must be something wrong with me", but instead says "Well that person there must be really insecure about something, for them to be reacting so badly when I've not even done anything", and I figure, that's their problem, not mine, so I ignore them.

I've forgotten where else I was going with this.

Good observation. I think what you said is very true. It also applies to many other situations where someone hasn't done anything wrong but is seen as being somewhat different/weird. Many people seem to worry about who they associate with for that reason.

Ultimately nothing's wrong with your being/looking/acting like a male/female/whatever. The only problem is the judgmental/bigoted people that treat you unfairly because of that. You need the confidence/strength to deal with such people/situations.

Yeah, this is how I look at it these days. I try to worry less and less about what people think of me. One thing I've realised is that the longer you do something that at first feels "out of the ordinary", the less you notice the impact it might be having on others. For example, I've had a shaved head since early this year (I'm female), and at first it felt like I was an anomaly in the small country town I live in, and I thought everyone was staring at me (which I hate). But now I've basically forgotten that I look unusual, and it feels like everyone else has too because I don't notice any strange reactions anymore. They were probably in my head to begin with, and it was mostly just my self-consciousness playing tricks on me.

I would guess that the pleasure you get from being able to expressing your true self every day would outweigh any negatives such as the odd comment or disapproval from others. This is my experience anyhow, as an androgynous female.

People get away with far too much criticism of others over minutiae that's really none of their business. The more nonchalant you are about living within norms you set for yourself, the more respect you'll get. I don't exactly think about all this in your terms but I've put up with a LOT of derision over growing my hair out. Just come up with something equally off-putting to tell them to do. Anyone willing to judge people by their hair (or lack thereof) is a misanthropic control freak in my eyes, I don't want to work for anyone like that, listen to their puritanical vitriol or take any such advice seriously. They're just the same people who criticize bumper stickers without even reading them. One of the coolest people I've ever met has no hair whatsoever. She's all tatoos, living proof that it's only about how you feel.

Anyone offended by hairstyles needs to rethink what respect actually means. Why worry about your parents' shallow definition thereof?

Sinead O'Connor has (or had) no hair. She's plenty cute!

I've been mistaken for a woman numerous times in my life. I haven't gone out of my way to look like a woman, it just sort of happens sometimes, and I've mostly just let it slide.

Why?

Is it not also designed by nature to be pleasurable?

I'm gay. Sex feels good. That's the whole point for me/us, as it's not about reproduction at all. Well, ok, there can be more to it than just physically feeling good.. like love, and connections to others etc - all good vibe stuff but still nothing to do with reproducing at all.

I love the androgynous style. Unfortunately I can't pull it off, but I'll wish I could until the day I die. Androgynous people are beautiful and inspiring to me.

Despite being perfectly happy as an AC/DC male, I purchase from both the male and female clothing sections of stores. Virtually all my currant footware rotation was female-marketed, although I consider them "boys" shoes since I'm the one who is wearing them. (to hell with Madison Avenue, IMO.) In addition, I've worn my hair shoulder length since I was a teen (when it was in style then), and have never grown a mustache or beard. I sometimes get called "miss" or "maam" until someone hears my voice, and it still gives me sort of a thrill. As long as I continue to act confident in my fashion choices, I've found most are reluctant to give me sh!t about what I have on.