I want to be anything BUT bi/pan/poly.

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I believe that sexuality is definitely a spectrum. Sure, there are people out there who are completely, 100% only attracted to one gender, whether the opposite or their own. But I honestly think they are the minority, and that social pressure has taken everyone else and shoved them into the 'straight jacket' of only dating the opposite sex.

So I think its very natural that, with some of that pressure taken off, people (especially girls, since there is less stigma) are more willing to explore their attraction to people of all genders. However, given the existing prejudice, its not surprising that many of them end up only dating the opposite.

Considering you had feelings towards both males and females, it is likely you are bi/pansexual. (Bi/Pansexuality isn't equal, for most people have a slightly larger attraction to one or more gender over the others.)

No matter what you are, there will always be those who believe you're a faker, but don't let that get to you. They're usually the ones slapping a dozen labels on themselves just to get attention.

I don't know how to make you feel less self-conscious, everyone has a different mind. What helped me may make others more self-conscious. I just stopped thinking about it too deeply, relaxed for a bit, and tried to accept it.

Hey, i think i totally get what you mean. I plan as someone said here to not worry about labels, and if people want to judge me or put me in a category that's up to them, but i'm gonna try not to do that to myself if that makes sense.

Such a simple concept & yet it really holds a lot of wisdom.

May I give a very practical - if extreme - example?

I'm middle aged - that's 'ancient' to most here, thanks. I was raised in an incredibly strict household. Strict adherence to obedience, and to conservative christian values. I was told verbally that certain things, certain *labels* were all unacceptable to *be*. I was also told that only a very narrow set actually were acceptable to be.

I was born gay, trans and AS with a whole bunch of sensory issues. It was like a comedy show setup, except I felt very little laughter for a very long time. Because I didn't fit any of the labels in my narrow, taught world. It wasn't until I was 39 that I realized I had to be myself, whatever that may be and whatever anyone else might label it, and I don't fit into any of the few labels that I'd been raised to believe were acceptable. And I found out that everyone has a different idea of what the labels are, and what they mean.

It was just in the nick of time, as my daughter might as well be my mini-clone. Trans, gay, AS, OCD, sensory issues...yet, not quite fitting into those categories as most others seem to define them. My wife and I are making sure that she is growing up in a very different reality. One where labels are merely suggestive, organizing categories, and each one is a spectra, and they tend to overlap and blend in the most beautiful way.

To the OP: Don't be Bi/pan/poly. Don't be straight, queer, gay or demi. Be you. Let yourself be attracted to whomever catches your fancy, without labels. Then, when you are all done and you've found someone see if you like the category. If you do, use it. If you don't...don't use it. They're just words, and terribly imprecise.

Hey, i'm glad that your influence on your daughter will be so much less restrictive than what you went through. I suppose most animals shun, albeit sometimes in more primitive ways, other animals that don't 'fit' the norm. Though its usually more to do with very simple breeding potentiality i guess. Its only humans though who retrospectively try and stick a label on process, and then try to justify the labels existence. Labels, its self though, are much better torn out, as you say, you don't fit into any labels. I don't think anyone really does, they are just a dead-end invention of conciousness caught in the mindset of a primitive creature mentality.