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MonsterCrack
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27 Sep 2015, 8:37 pm

I'm 16, and a guy, and i wrote it about my 17 year old female friend... I'm waiting for the right time to give it to her... I've only known her since may 31 of this year...

You are the starlight that never shuns me
I seek solace in your knowledge you bestow
Shall I compare you to glasses through which I see?
And the warmth of fire when I am cold and low?
You are the sunshine that never shuns me
I seek comfort-
In your flames of sweet gentleness...
Shall I bask in friendship to n'er abort?
For your flames which give life to an Earth that is always less?
Wherefore are you so distant, yet so near?
Always busy, as am I, and-
Yet the queller of fear
For you're as much at home here as a desert's sand
I dedicate this to your name
But wherefore art thou Thea,
For your name be merely a signal claim,
To the girl of wonder, always same



Feyokien
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27 Sep 2015, 10:04 pm

Yes, I particularly like the line about the sun. Good luck, I do sincerely hope it works out, beat the odds.



Cockroach96
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28 Sep 2015, 3:50 am

Whoa, take it easy! You should get to know her well first. Anyway, love poems are old school, outdated and too touchy-feely. They were probably used in the past centuries, but now it's 2015.


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Feyokien
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28 Sep 2015, 3:54 am

Cockroach96 wrote:
Whoa, take it easy! You should get to know her well first. Anyway, love poems are old school, outdated and too touchy-feely. They were probably used in the past centuries, but now it's 2015.


Some people might enjoy them, I guess you just got to pick your audience carefully. I personally wouldn't do a poem, but do what you feel comfortable with doing. And yeah, I wouldn't open on this either if you barely know the girl and just know her from afar.



kraftiekortie
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29 Sep 2015, 5:46 am

That's a really good poem. Written in the classical style.

Now....please start listening to people, man. Please calm down. You've got potential. Don't squander it by doing stupid things.



underwater
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29 Sep 2015, 5:54 am

That's not bad at all. Give it to her once you've gotten engaged. Not before.

MonsterCrack, do you have anyone in real life that you can talk openly with about your feelings and the stuff that troubles you?



nerdygirl
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29 Sep 2015, 6:03 am

I think love poems should make a comeback, but only AFTER one is in a relationship!



kraftiekortie
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29 Sep 2015, 7:02 am

I agree.....when you two definitely have a commitment--or are very close to one.



Kraichgauer
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02 Oct 2015, 8:34 pm

Have you written any other poetry? Any fiction?


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MonsterCrack
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02 Oct 2015, 8:46 pm

Kraichgauer wrote:
Have you written any other poetry? Any fiction?

I used to write a lot of poetry before, especially love poems, and I also wrote stories. But I don't write stories anymore and this is the only poem I've written in a while... Did you like it, Bill?



Kraichgauer
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03 Oct 2015, 2:07 am

MonsterCrack wrote:
Kraichgauer wrote:
Have you written any other poetry? Any fiction?

I used to write a lot of poetry before, especially love poems, and I also wrote stories. But I don't write stories anymore and this is the only poem I've written in a while... Did you like it, Bill?


While love poetry isn't exactly my thing, I did like it. Why aren't you writing stories any more?


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MonsterCrack
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03 Oct 2015, 11:31 am

Kraichgauer wrote:
MonsterCrack wrote:
Kraichgauer wrote:
Have you written any other poetry? Any fiction?

I used to write a lot of poetry before, especially love poems, and I also wrote stories. But I don't write stories anymore and this is the only poem I've written in a while... Did you like it, Bill?


While love poetry isn't exactly my thing, I did like it. Why aren't you writing stories any more?

I don't really know why I don't write stories anymore, I guess I lost interest.



kraftiekortie
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03 Oct 2015, 12:02 pm

You can write a story about how one struggles to be a good Muslim in a multicultural society.

That might even sell.



MonsterCrack
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03 Oct 2015, 12:08 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You can write a story about how one struggles to be a good Muslim in a multicultural society.

That might even sell.

That sounds like an excellent idea, but I've lost interest in writing stories.... I also don't have the patience...