Going to miss the appealing ppl at school.

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I realize fully how flippant it might seem to bring this up:

today is more or less, one year since I last spoke to a woman who I used to have feelings for and knew when I was ~14. I went through turbulence upon re-encountering her which took an ugly and horrifying turn in my mind with intrusive thoughts during the summer and just a few minutes ago I was 'indulging myself' in looking up stuff about 'The Reverant', revenge, the Sinestro ('fear fueled') and Red Lantern ('anger fueled') corps among other things which I remember from comic books on tvtropes.

One more year of school left and I'll be nearing ~26 by then, which has been a factor in creeping me out in how I'm guessing most of the student body demographic at Mohawk college is ~18-22. A fair amount are of South Asian descent and as far as physicality goes, I've always found dark skin, long smooth textured black hair and appealing eyes as features which I admit to 'being a sucker' for.

My turbulence at having learning issues are an element here, as is me 'letting go slowly' of past resentments but I'm going to miss the beauty which I admit to have 'relished' while here.

As flippant and/or ridiculous and/or to some degree chauvinistic as this might sound how can I not feel too bad about no longer being in a place where 'drop dead gorgeous' women are not uncommon, aside from telling myself how questionable and/or creepy me still being here at this age is?.