Starting to doubt my "high-functioning" label

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My parents claim that i'm "high-functioning" solely because of my good verbal skills and my average IQ. Yet I've always had some rather extreme behavioral problems. I have always been delayed emotionally( I basically have the emotional age of a 10-year old), and I would throw tantrums if people told me to do anything that required even the smallest amount of hard work and dedication. These tantrums where more reminiscent of a "low functioning" person than anything else.

They were occasionally violent in nature, and would often result in me harming other people(I have mostly grown out of this, however). I would often hide in the bathroom at school and refuse to do anything productive at all. I basically have no self-discipline at all, I would do stupid s**t like surf the internet or play video games instead of actually doing the things that were expected of me (Schoolwork, chores, etc,). I simply didn't see the point of doing them. And god help anyone who actually tried to do something about it.

I also have a comorbid diagnosis of ADHD, which means that my executive functioning is absolutely abysmal, but that is a story for another day.

Perhaps your emotional issues are not autism related but caused by the environment. If you are constantly being told you have to do something you... won't feel like doing it, because listening to the nagging hurts and makes you hate the thing they tell you to do!

You lack motivation because there is no intrinsic motivation in you. You get told what you are supposed to do and nagged for not doing it, therefore getting frustrated before you have the chance to figure out why doing it would be beneficial for you (except for not being punished). You certainly can get yourself to work hard and be dedicated - if you couldn't you wouldn't be able to play video games so much. They are challenging enough to need the qualities. Unless you are playing it on easy mode, but it would be quite an accomplishment itself - being focused for so long on something that boring.

I wouldn't do any chores in my family house - I still don't, because it just makes no sense. Why would I do it if my mom always does it sooner or later and if my dad yells making me meltdown in order to get me do it, despite knowing that approach doesn't work and only makes things worse? The only way to make me do anything was for my mom to tell me "Will you do X? I don't have enough time/energy for it and it needs to be done by tomorrow". It triggered my sense of responsibility and I would do anything as long as I knew how to do it and dad wasn't home (if he were I would rather stay in my room and play video games - because he often asked me "Why isn't X done?" when I were just going to do it and not believing me when I said it was the case - or controlling me and telling me that the way I am doing X is wrong).

Now I am living on my own and chores are done, because it's nice to have tasty food, clean clothes and a floor you can walk on. Sure, sometimes I just don't have enough energy for it and some stuff get left for later but it's clean and organized enough. I still do it when I am home alone though - if my flatmate is home I will hide on my room and surf the net, afraid that she is going tell me I do things the wrong way. I am also sort of embarrassed when people are watching me cleaning the house or cooking - I still consider it somehow "unhonorable task" because my honor was always being damaged by dad punishing me. Being seen by someone while cleaning is intimidating just like being seem by someone while sitting on toilet would, in my damaged brain.

I would try to forget about functioning labels. They do tend not to take into account the diversity of the spectrum and the difficulties people labeled high-functioning can have. Don't have much advice other than that, unfortunately.