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Joe90
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13 Jun 2018, 11:56 am

I have a friend who is the same age as me and has Fragile-X syndrome. Her condition makes it harder for her to make friends and find a job, so she is still unemployed and I'm basically the only friend she has.

But since I've moved in with my boyfriend and am now in my second job, she hasn't really contacted me. The other day I texted her saying "hi how are you? Would you like to meet up for lunch one day?" and she put back "I'm OK thanks". I wasn't sure what to put back to that, but I have a feeling she doesn't want to meet me any more.

I am NOT offended though. I know how she's feeling. She's 28, still lives at home, can't find a suitable job even though she tries hard, has never actually had a proper job, hasn't really got friends, and hasn't got a boyfriend. So I suppose she will feel maybe jealous of me, because I have similar challenges to her (shy, anxiety, not many friends, have a diagnosis), so maybe she's feeling like "what's she got that I haven't? Why can't I find a boyfriend or a job?"

I want to make her feel better. I do feel sorry for her. How shall I approach her?


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kraftiekortie
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15 Jun 2018, 9:56 am

Maybe say that you miss her, and want to see her. That you value your years-long friendship too much for you two not to hang out.



Summer_Twilight
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17 Jun 2018, 8:47 am

If you want to cheer her up, a few things:
1. It's best that you don't bring your boyfriend around or talk about your two jobs because it would make the situation worse.
2. Have you ever thought about seeing who is willing to hire someone with a disability? If so maybe consider looking among your boyfriend and other networks.
3. Help her find a website or two where she could learn some job skills and maybe build her a portfolio where she would sell her work.

As far as the boyfriend thing go, maybe your other friends and boyfriend know of someone who knows someone.