Board index › Age/Gender related discussions › LGBT Discussion

how to be gender neutral in a gender orientated world

Page 2 of 2 [ 25 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

lidsmichelle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 May 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 686
Location: South-eastern Washington

14 Jun 2016, 4:54 pm

If someone knows, please tell me.

I still present fairly feminine (and it isn't entirely bothersome, but it's not how I want to present), even though I'm agender. I'm afraid of backlash if I changed my presentation and was open about my gender.


_________________
Herein You Will Find Various And Numerous And Innumerable Hexes, Curses, Words In The Old Tongue To Cleave A’Twain Friend, Foe, Family Alike. If You So Choose. Money Hates Me, God Hates Me, My Wife Hates Me, My Own Hands Hate Me. But Thats All Beside The Point. The Point Is That My Time Here On Earth Runs Short. Im Not Dying But You All Are. Im A Glass Of Wine. Nothing Beats A Glass Of Wine. When The Kids Arent Home And Your A Mother Theres A Glass Of Wine There. A Glass Coffee Table And I’m A Glass Of Wine. Stressful Day When The Kids And you're Husband Then Glass Of Wine. Dark Chocolate Indulge. Petty Indulgences. When you're A Glass Of Wine And Let The Body’s Hit The Floor. When Your Glass Of Wine Is Running Short And You Say Heck What Of It. Why Dont I Have Another. Bartender I Am A Glass Of Wine. Bottoms Up And The Devil Laughs. The Bartender Remembers When It Happened. They All Remember When It Happened And If They Knew That You Dont Remember Then They Would Know That Something Is Awry Here Or So They Would Think. Something Would Be Amiss Or Smells Fishy. So Theyre All Relating There Stories Of Where They Were When That Event Happened And The Eyes Move Clockwise About The Room Where We All Share Our Glass Of Wine And Suddenly The Clock Ticks To You And They Ask The Fatal Question That Destroys Your Reputation, The Question You Could Never Answer, The Dead Giveaway: Where Were You When The Bodies Hit The Floor


green0star
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,415
Location: blah

03 Aug 2016, 8:08 am

lidsmichelle wrote:
If someone knows, please tell me.

I still present fairly feminine (and it isn't entirely bothersome, but it's not how I want to present), even though I'm agender. I'm afraid of backlash if I changed my presentation and was open about my gender.


I feel your pain, my conservative christian family still doesn't know the truth about my gender identity. Sometimes when you know something is only going to cause a problem then its better to just say nothing at all. In their minds "gender = genitals" so whether I come out as genderqueer or even trans they will always acknowledge me as a female ...



C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

04 Aug 2016, 11:10 am

Quote:
In their minds "gender = genitals" so whether I come out as genderqueer or even trans they will always acknowledge me as a female.

So ... Their heads would completely explode if you ever had bottom surgery and no longer had female genitals.


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


green0star
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,415
Location: blah

08 Aug 2016, 7:48 am

C2V wrote:
Quote:
In their minds "gender = genitals" so whether I come out as genderqueer or even trans they will always acknowledge me as a female.

So ... Their heads would completely explode if you ever had bottom surgery and no longer had female genitals.


Are you kidding??? These are the same people that feel that transgendered folks bother small children in the bathroom ... My mom bluntly said even if someone was post op she wouldn't want to use the same bathroom as someone who used to be a man.



C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

08 Aug 2016, 10:22 am

^ Commiserations. My relations are the same. Everyone just avoids talking about the proverbial giant rainbow elephant in the room. If you really wanted to blow her mind though, you could correct her on the phrase "used to be a man" and the evidence against that - a transwoman was never a man, even if she was born outwardly male bodied. Part of her brain was always female, otherwise she would not be transgender. I always found the theory about higher than norm exposure to opposite sex hormones in utero a good one, as no transsexual was ever completely their birth gender, or they simply wouldn't be trans.


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


green0star
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,415
Location: blah

12 Aug 2016, 7:58 am

C2V wrote:
^ Commiserations. My relations are the same. Everyone just avoids talking about the proverbial giant rainbow elephant in the room. If you really wanted to blow her mind though, you could correct her on the phrase "used to be a man" and the evidence against that - a transwoman was never a man, even if she was born outwardly male bodied. Part of her brain was always female, otherwise she would not be transgender. I always found the theory about higher than norm exposure to opposite sex hormones in utero a good one, as no transsexual was ever completely their birth gender, or they simply wouldn't be trans.


I tried telling something to that extent to my mom and she got mad at me and said I'm defending those people.



Cash__
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,390
Location: Missouri

13 Sep 2016, 7:48 pm

I am genderless. Not sure if that's what you mean by gender neutral or not?

I personally have no problems clicking the male box in forms, bathrooms, etc. Since I am genderless, when confronted with these things I just go with my biological sex. Its all I have to associate with and it is also part of who I am. So I go with that.

The only real struggle I have ever had with it was bullying by male school mates. Not that I ever told them. They could just sense I wasn't quite like them and made my life hell for it. I guess they still do in adulthood. I'm just not around people much these days.



Cintakmarka
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 50
Location: Long Island, NY

03 Oct 2016, 7:31 pm

I so agree with you on many levels. I can't stand the 'gender' roles and clothing in society. I tend to dress as a guy, unfortunately due to my short height, and female body. I find it difficult to be open in public about my inner feelings to express them to women. I tend to say i'm younger, and look more like a teen guy. than a 30 old woman. Parents have tried to get me to break out of my 'teen' look.



aspiesavant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2015
Posts: 579

19 Jun 2018, 4:25 am

b9 wrote:
why do people have to be so identified with a gender?


Girls have been playing with boys' toys and dressing like boys for decades... if not centuries. But only recently did this become an issue and did it become common to disassociate with your birth sex because of it.

The disappearance of traditional gender roles and the increase of broken homes and single parents may have something to do with it. People increasingly grow up without a healthy role model of either sex, and this seems to confuse the heck out of people, as healthy role models of both sexes are critical in the life of a child or teen growing up. And then there's identity politics further aggravating all this confusion.

We sure live in the queerest of times.