Asking for help & rejecting "unhelpful help"

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So don't laugh, but I started doing affirmations to keep me motivated at working on my dissertation because I've mostly lsot interest in the topic and am struggling to keep myself motivated. They've since expanded to be beyond my dissertation, but mostly focused around it.

One of my affirmations is "I ask for help" because I struggle with this a lot. I then expand on it and what this means and why it's important. I'm working on developing myself 'scripts' I can use for asking for help.

BUT I realize that part of asking for help is being gracious, saying thank you and often reciprocating in some way. Also, it includes rejecting "help" from people who decide they know what you need better than you do and do things that actually complicate your life. As an adult, I struggle with rejecting this "help" graciously, but firmly.

So, my question is, how do you ask for help? How do you reciprocate? and PLEASE how do you reject "unhelpful help" (my grandparents are the worst at this. I say, I had my appendix out, I need help with the baby because I can't lift him, and they come over and fix my yard, WTF).

“I am having trouble keeping up with X, can you help me?” “I don’t know how to do… can you show me how you dealt with it?” “I am struggling with …, what did/do you do?” “I can’t do … and …, can you do one of them for me so I can do the other?” “How did you do …. because I am really struggling right now?”
I am then gracious when I receive help and tell the other person thank you. I don’t just stop at thank you, I say “thank you for … becaeuse …” “I really appreciate … because …” “I never could have … if you hadn’t …”
When someone gives “unhelpful help” I firmly reject it without being rude. I can say, “Thank you for …, but I can handle that, what I could really use right now is…” “I appreciate you wanting to …, but right now, I could really use …” “Thank you for your effort, but … would be much more helpful right now.”

Just thank them.....and then do your thing.

From your last paragraph it sounds like you have it worked out well. My husband thinks “actions speak louder than words”. Im the opposite and think words are important because we’re not mind readers. You articulate that you are thankful and you state what you are thankful for. That’s good. Unhelpful help, well ... Sometimes you just take it and say thank you, other times as you indicate thank them, but say you need X, or if necessary say forcefully NO. Because sometimes people are just too pushy with their help in their certainty that they know what you need.

Lyeshea, those are great. Sometimes I get really mad when people push their unhelpful help on me. One simple phrase I've found helps to push some away is to calmly say, "I said I don't need your help. Please respect my wishes, thank you." I don't know a kinder way to stop the pushiest of the helpers.