I dont like math

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I recently started school. However I dont think I like my math class. I was put into a mainstream grade 9 math class. Thats a weird adjustment for me.

I feel anxious because of it. I have an assistant in the class but its still hard. I have to be on my best behavior. Thats a lot of effort. I had a bit of an outburst today. The seating plan got switched and I didnt want to move. I eventually did. But people in the class talked about it. They think I am a bit weird.

I stim a lot in the class. It helps. I really dont want to go back to Special ed math. So I will do anything to manage my stress. I think I can get used to it.

I never had a problem with mathematics, since I was often in the upper classes and received a B grade after my final exams. However, my interest and appetite have slipped and university level mathematics is drastically different compared to GCSE level, though it's understandable since I didn't do A level mathematics.

I wouldn't say I dislike maths, though. I still return to it every now and then for new puzzles, challenges and whatnot. My favourite way to deal with maths is to create some kind of visualisation. I find imagery can be quite helpful.