Ma'am and sir on forums?

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I've been wondering lately, should I be using "ma'am" or "sir", unless otherwise specified not to, when addressing my elders on a forum board? This might sound bizarre. I haven't done it so far except in private messaging. Outside of the forum, I am always saying "yes/no ma'am/sir" and of course "please and thank you" (which I do say the latter on forums), or would it be too weird to do so? I don't see others doing it, but at the same time I can't help but to feel there are times in which I might need to. Are there any? Or is forum etiquette casual across the board regardless of age?

I prefer "O Wise One," but "Sir" is acceptable.

You're generally quite respectful in your wording, Hyeokgeose, even without the use of honorifics. Asking people if they would appreciate being addressed in that way, case by case, may be the best option, since it is unusual - and in my experience people are initially startled by the unusual, even if kindly meant.

I'd say that casual politeness is pretty much the norm here. Generally, I assume that a member's username is what they want to be called, and that they would say in their signature if they prefer particular personal pronouns (sadly, profiles are rather limited in this regard.) Some people don't even mind if you abbreviate their username so long as its clear who you mean ("Trog" or "luddite" is fine by me); you can always ask first whether they mind or not

As a worldwide site for autistic people, there's a wide variety in members' language abilities and cultural norms, and English is not everyone's first language; so it's reasonable to expect plenty of tolerance for different writing styles, and equally, to accept that your personal style might not suit everybody. From what I've seen of your posts so far, you're doing just fine!

it us unexpected and unnecessary in most instances, like this one probacle.

It'd be a good idea so we know in whose company to be uncomfortable.

My grandfather always called women Milady (in my language), and when he passed away, I started calling women that in his honor. It is meant in a respectful way. Same as my use of sweetheart. I call women sweetheart when they have a sweet heart, not used in a flirty way. I am a demisexual, so I am just being kind and nice.

Be who you are, and if it offends people, it is their problem. You can't please everyone. Tell them you meant well and move on. Some people are just toxic and get angry about the slightest things.

Had it happen a few times that I held a door open for someone and they got angry at me because they could do it easily themselves and they weren't a baby. I was being kind and a gentleman, they should notice my good intentions, but these people always make everything into something negative.

A British/Irish/Australian/New Zealand person would take insult at being referred to like that. We'd actually be quite angry at the perceived insincerity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1gtCRCNMrk

Oh, Bogie could say it to anyone, anytime

I get rather dismayed at the lack of civility in modern British society, for example when a trades person addresses me as 'mate' or 'pal'. Talk about unprofessional. I've even seen fly-on-the-wall documentary-type TV shows where police officers address members of the public as 'fellah', though for some reason in this age of equality they're always careful to address females as 'madam' or similar.

On the other hand I am also sometimes a bit taken aback when addressed as 'sir', which seems very dated and somewhat artificial these days. Similarly when beginning a letter (a what?!) with 'Dear sir or madam'.

Maybe the way the moderator 'Michelle Williams' addresses posters in this forum is the way to go....?

Not endorsing the website itself, by the way, which is clearly a little dubious.

Hey OP I have to ask....are you from the South?
Just asking because I for one am, and I know I use Sir and Ma'am and even when asked to use a first name I put Mr. or Mrs. in front, all of which I have been told recently is a southern united states thing. Lol I just thought it was a universally accepted sign of politeness