Do you have a hard time with pap tests?
My paps haven't been as bad lately, but I still get a lot of anxiety and dread when I have one coming up. The very first one I ever got was traumatic because it was excruciatingly painful. I was only 18 at the time, and I really didn't know what I was getting myself into. I needed to go on birth control due to severe menstrual cramps, and I went to a doctor that I had never been to before (I think because at the time, I didn't have much experience driving, and my mom wasn't able to drive me to my primary care doctor which is out quite a ways and requires me to drive on the interstate...so I just went to this lady because she was close by and it was the quickest way to get the pills I needed). And they wanted to do a pap before they gave me the pills. I knew what a pap was and had always heard that they're "uncomfortable, but not painful", so I thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad...but I just remember wanting to scream out in pain because it felt like they were stabbing me with a hot knife down there. I've been getting a pap almost every year since then at most of my yearly physical exams (I'll admit that one year I panicked and cancelled the appointment) with my primary care doctor. I had a panic attack the first time she wanted to do a pap since I had my first traumatic one, but she and the nurse calmed me down and it didn't end up being nearly as bad. My doctor definitely knows now how sensitive I am, and she's always really gentle, uses the smallest speculum that she has, and always just talks to me about school, work, or whatever is going on in my life to take my mind off of what's going on, and that definitely seems to help. There was only one time that she did it where it started to hurt a lot, but she stopped when she saw that it was hurting, and decided not to go through with it since I was kind of on my period anyway (I just have super light periods because of my birth control), and she also knew I'm not and have never been sexually active. So other than that time, her paps usually aren't that bad, but I still just can't help feeling so much anxiety in the days leading up to my appointment.
I have my next physical tomorrow, and as tempted as I was to cancel it, I know I need to just get it over with. I already put it off for months. And aside from just being afraid of it being painful, I also just hate how I have so much vaginal discharge for the rest of the day (sorry if that's TMI). The paps do cause me to have excess discharge pretty much the rest of the day, and I can't stand how it feels. I have to work after my appointment so I hope I can cope okay.
I don't think these sort of tests are "easy" for anyone. It's certainly not my idea of a fun way to spend an afternoon.
They are important to get I believe at least once every 4 years for adult women of reproductive age, to check for potential cervical cancer. So it's important to go through with it if you can, for the sake of your preventative health. I've had to have several colonoscopies because of my autoimmune disease (it can lead to colon cancer) and it's a similar feeling--I don't want to do it, it's uncomfortable and unpleasant, but it's worth it if it means I can prevent developing colon cancer which would be a lot worse than however unpleasant a scope is to endure.
Have you thought about using a thin panty-liner after your appointment? That might help with discharge. You can get ones that are super thin and discreet, unscented and all that.
I'm having the EXACT problem as the OP, except worse, because each time I try for a PAP it just won't go in. Many people say it's nerves and that I need to relax then it'd go in better, but how can you consciously make yourself relax? And anyway, when I went in for my first PAP test 4 years ago, I was told the same:
I haven't been back since. I know how important smear tests are, and I know having a smear test is much better than having cancer. But it's not like I can't be bothered or am ignorant to the consequence of cancer risks. It's not even embarrassment. It's a fearful anxiety.
If cancer in the ears was most common and needed a similar test done each year or so, then I wouldn't have a problem with it because I enjoy things being inserted into my ears. But I cannot stand foreign objects being inserted between my legs. It feels like my body is being ripped apart down there, and it's hard to rationalise my feelings about it.
Same goes for colonoscopies as well, except colonoscopies are embarrassing because you have to have conversations with doctors about when was the last time you farted. I can openly talk about periods. I can openly talk about pooping. I can reveal my butthole or my vagina to doctors and nurses. But for some reason I do NOT want to talk about me farting. No way, no how.
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Female
I'm going to be honest here, I plan to do everything in my power to avoid it. Heck, I think I'd rather jump out of a moving vehicle.
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Diagnosed autistic level 2, ODD, anxiety, dyspraxic, essential tremors, depression (Doubted), CAPD, hyper mobility syndrome
Suspected; PTSD (Treated, as my counselor did notice), possible PCOS, PMDD, Learning disabilities (Sure of it, unknown what they are), possibly something wrong with immune system (Sick about as much as I'm not) Possible EDS- hyper mobility type (Will be getting tested, suggested by doctor) dysautonomia
I don't know if it helps, but I found this recently on the autistic women's and non-binary website, maybe there's an autistic friendly provider in your area?
https://awnnetwork.org/autistic-womens- ... y-results/
I really hate those tests. I got my first when I was 11 and it hurt so bad and I actually bled too. I have PCOS and Endometriosis so I unfortunately get those tests every year, even though I have never been sexually active and am a virgin. It has gotten easier and a little less scary but I still dislike them a lot. The whole process of seeing the doctor is traumatic for me because I don't like being touched or being naked in front of anybody.
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"Have you never seen something so mad, so extraordinary... That just for one second, you think that there might be more out there?" -Gwen Cooper, Torchwood
I’m nearly 50 now and fall into a low risk group, so I’m not planning on having any more. I can’t stand anyone being down there. Same goes for breast screening.
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Diagnosed with Aspergers 2015
Diagnosed with ADHD 2020
I am not taking the damn Venlafaxine!
On Propranolol
I like cats, trees and spiders.
'In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act' George Orwell
I don't enjoy them, but I don't want cancer either. Cervical cancer is one of the easiest cancers to treat if it's caught early. I knew someone (family friend) who refused to get a pap smear because she didn't like being touched down there and was embaressed by the whole ordeal, and she ended up dying from cervical cancer. Her death was a slow, and painful one. And it could have be prevented had she just gone in for her regular pap smears!
LadyLucifer
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 11 Aug 2018
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 60
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Yeah me too. I'm a virgin too, so I get really intimidated by these things. I had a speculum in me a few times, not sure if they are considered a pap, since I was in there for a urinary condition. What made things really difficult was half of these tests were done by men. (Though thankfully one knew I was ASD and had a female nurse hold my hand while he was getting his hands dirty)
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I'm not at the age where I have to start getting Pap smears yet, but based on what all of you are saying and from my own assumptions, I think they will be pretty uncomfortable and/or painful. The brush that they may use looks like a bottle brush (feels quite prickly) and the spatula seems quite sharp and pointy. I know that the sensation of something touching my cervix is quite uncomfortable and a little painful (a bit TMI, but I discovered this when I found out that a drawstring on my pajama pants got stuck in my vagina) and I believe that someone touching my cervix with a sharp and/or prickly object would be hell for me.
What's worse, Pap smears are often part of a pelvic exam. One of the parts of a pelvic exam is the bimanual exam, which is when the examiner puts their fingers into your vagina and palpates your female reproductive organs. This includes the cervix, and this would be even more uncomfortable than simply scraping the outside of the cervix, especially if the examiner has long and/or sharp nails that can go into their gloves.
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I am no longer using WP. Please PM me if you want to talk.
I hate PAP smears also. They are very painful. I am a virgin, and always will be, by choice, but had one as a young adult due to a minor health issue. Didn't have any more till about 13 years ago, due to a female bleeding problem. Turned out to be cancer, so I had to have the works out, and then I had PAP smears for several years after that, and then chose to stop having them, but the doc keeps trying to get me to start doing them again. Not interested, and I'm eating healthier now, losing weight, and taking immune boosting supplements, so I hope to hold off any more cancer that way.
I also don't like mammograms, as those are very painful too. Had a number of them over the years, but then looked into alternatives. I found out that there's something called thermography that's safer and a lot more accurate than mammograms, but most docs haven't heard of it, and won't do it because the mammogram industry makes a lot of money off of doing mammograms on women every year. Thermography doesn't use X-rays, so you don't get poisoned by it. It also doesn't require painful manipulation of the breasts. Unfortunately, my doc hadn't heard of it when I requested it recently, so she looked into it, and then told me that nobody around here even has the equipment to do thermographies, even tho the procedure has been around since the 1960s, Well, since I can't switch to thermographs, and don't want to be poisoned by radiation, I have decided to not have a mammogram every year. Instead, I'll only do it every few years, probably every 5 years, unless I want something checked out.
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If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away.--Henry David Thoreau
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