An ink drawing of how I feel being autistic

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This is how I feel as an autistic adult some of the time.
I have most difficulties when people tell me one thing but want me to do something else and then get angry with me for doing what they asked.



It's not all bad though.

...Nice drawing!

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

This explains more than I could have hoped for.

OP, when I saw your drawing, immediately I thought of an artist/creator named James Henry Pullen, and in particular one of his wooden sculptural creations named Queen Victoria's "State Barge" - I've never seen anything like it. My immediate thought was "this man was an aspie", so I read about him and his life. Perhaps you could find a picture of the model he made, which represents his extraordinary conception of a funeral barge. If you see it, I'd love to hear what you think of it.

His life was extraordinary too. I believe he particularly represents the extreme artistic talent that a subsection of the spectrum has, innately, it springs forth from them, not from tuition but inner perception. Pullen, born 1835, was consigned as an inmate of an Asylum for Idiots in England at the age of 12. He remained institutionalised all his life, but had a successful career as an artist nevertheless, as the doctors there wanted to collect his works themselves, and allowed him to sell some works to private buyers, and he usefully designed and made furniture for these "hospitals" which were mainly concerned with what they called 'moral management' of the inmates.

Pullen was described in his asylum records as "unsociable, passionate, self-willed, nearly deaf and dumb" however 3 years later, a more attuned specialist who questioned the 'idiot' diagnosis wrote: "it appears that he possessed from an early period considerable intelligence - is he an idiot?"

There is currently an exhibition of his work going on in the UK at the Watts Gallery:
"James Henry Pullen: Inmate - Inventor - Genius" until 28 October.

There is a photo of the barge here:

https://www.artfund.org/whats-on/exhibi ... exhibition

I've felt like the OP's art several times in the span of my life.

That's a brilliant creation. It deserves to be on a wall somewhere important. You have a talent, I think some NTs would get a better understanding of Autism looking at that picture than words alone could convey to them.

The oxygen tank (I think?) into the mouth of a robotic head suggests even though this being appears mechanical and cold it's struggling to breathe. The one human eye with a tear shows sadness, the other robotic eye a fine and keen intellect that pierces through - it makes me think is that why the other eye is crying, this being sees too much for others to accept?

The please signal above the eyes indicates very open communication as can be stereotypical with Autistic people. It could be a cry for help but the tear drop suggests even this obvious message is being ignored.

That's my perception of it. I really like it.

This thread is so interesting.

Please check the location of the exhibition - I think it may be out of London.