Eye contact in other cultures

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do u think i dont get that s**t, and i am not frustrated about it? i am and i am. i got jobs, but it was jobs of a disposable unit. and last of them had put me in hospital for enough time to be fragging afraid to try again. and then my allistic family doesnt see a problem, ya. yaddayaddayadda. problem is in total lack of central education about it. they know what deaf is. they know what non-binary gender is (not allways though). they dont know what autistic is. i tell people im aspergerian and then they blame me when a meltdown happens. because they are fragging clueless. and then they dont care. but its not about ALL allistics. its just about some sort of them, the same sort that will mess about every other minority thing, too. good people exist, and it doesnt depend on neurology, gender, religion, racial traits etc. allistic people saved my life. by being considerate yes. and by hating people just because they drew a certain straw (long or short, is irrelevant, certain) is no good whatsoever. u spread the blame from allistic as*holes to all allistic people. some of them are out there, ready to aid us if they only know we need aid. taking the war to the world is enticing but wont yeld any result. i am advocating for peace, and for consideration from OUR side for people who could be NOT as*holes, but simply NOT INFORMED. give them benefit of a doubt, as hard as it is.

I remember when I learned that it's rude to look away from people when you're talking with them. I was 8 years old and some teacher told me that I should look at people when I'm talking with them.

It didn't cause me any pain or discomfort so from then on I did it and it became a habit. Around about the same time some kid told me I looked funny walking with my at 45° angle. It took me a while to get used to walking with my feet parallel. It felt funny.

been there seen that. its hard asfh. im on attack, at war with the world. there's no surrender, no time to remember. please mind, that worst allistic as*holes in my life are my genetic family. gaslighting, ghosting my identity. and yes i had had to rely on a friend for food and shelter in later teen age. because my family decided im junk and should be trashed, ya. now they ONLY care about my allistic daughter, keeping gaslighting me, and they wont be stopped ya. i survived because of people who want me alive. people who are nothing to do with that family i come from. and those people are allistic. and well if i had not, it would be all "that b***h was a weirdo, what did u expect?". they would say they never saw it coming, they would say they loved me. they say it to my f*****g face every time i let them open their f*****g muzzles. and then they play offended when i try to get f****d off of. because they f*****g so love me, my ass. ya. sorry for language. im getting at what, im not some f*****g violet that lived in a world of rainbows. i had all that s**t, im still having it. every time i see my mother, who doesnt f*****g bother notice i have f*****g panick attacks just when she f***s around my flat. and woulndt f**k off, ya. sorry for language again. and yet, i know how to value the care i get from people, who never actually had to care for me, exept that they want to. people who are saving my life each damn f*****g time my ptsd takes over and drives me to the f*****g windowsil. people i wont let to be swept under umbrella of motherf****ng allistic scum that kill people for being autistic. sorry. and sorry u didnt met them. sorry. they are out there. i got lucky, okay. its not like my real life gets any less hopeless and f****d up. its not like my family will stop trying to kill me. but somebody is out there, and tries their best. digital !=fake. feelings in digital world are much more real, i knew that the f*****g hard way. sorry again.

also sorry for double post, but about crime and (incert any majority category). there is more chance to meet a criminal, who is allistic, who belongs to a racial majority in given country, who is straight. because there are just more allistic than autistic, for example, so there will be more allistic criminals. so u got attacked by a scumbag who is also allistic (btw how did u know that? that sort of interaction, in my experience, doesnt reeally let u to get to know that scum). anyways. they didnt harm u because they were allistic, they harmed u because they are scum. scum has no nation, or any other category. and well, an autist can be also model scum, rapist and marauder. there are just less people in this group, simple as that. what is our percentage, 3% population? then a criminal u meet has 3% chance to be autistic, and 97% to be allistic. sorrry if i got % wrong, i live in a place where nobody f*****g counts us. we dont exist, ya. anyways its like that. so if u are autistic and there are 97% ppl who are allistic around u, and most of them are clueless about what u are, well. also rapist kinda doesnt ask if u are autistic or not, they just... ya. theres no talking about neurobuilds in that case. none of scumbags who tried to grab me asked anything, tho most of the time they also didnt think that boots with metal lining can f**k up their kneecaps xD they aernt smart, ukno. scum generally arent smart. maybe it doesnt matter which buildup they have, at least for that reason - they are too dumb to have a way of thought anyways xD SORRY. i degrade. if any mod thinks im over the line, please delete my BS xd BUT i still argue against generalizing. ya.

To answer your question about how I know he was neurotypical:

1) He was from my step-father's family. He wasn't a random stranger I know nothing about.

2) He was extremely manipulative. He took a toy from me to get me to follow him to a deserted part of our house. I don't know a lot of autistics who can be successful manipulators like that.

I believe eye contact is not needed at all. I find eye contact as confrontational and I try to avoid as much as possible. I am Autistic and I would fit better in cultures that do not like eye contact. Why Western society does not embrace individual freedom, eccentricities and being unique instead of herd mentality?

the toy trick is well, very primitive. any adult autist could just learn it. take something they want, then they follow u. yes its monstrous. and no it was not because that scum was allistic. i had lived through attempts on a daily basis from tween age and till the age of 16 (end school), by a couple of classmates. one of them was surely allistic, the other (baddest one) was unspecified build. could be AU. i got very good at getting away, tho sometimes they caught me. then there was an array of attempts by "cultural minority" in this land, who think they can just do that. not because i am autistic, but because i belong to another (major) culture here, and they are just that depraved on their "cultural" level. because, liteerally, what language i speak and what color my skin has. can happen to an allistic girl with same specs just as well. Also, other members of the same nation are very decent people, i respect some of them, deeply. and actions of criminals with their skin color should not reflect on them (btw those people really suffer for that account, being pre-concepted as criminals because of what people-like-them do). i have friend who had survived what u survived, but not 1 occasion, systemically. and he is also most likely allistic. its just not about any other specs, than rotten personality, that can be tagged anyhow, wont matter. and ya scumbags who attacked me recently, because they had DECIDED they own a chunk of land they have no legal claim for (and i was there) also have nothing to do with neurology. ah and ya, the question of children. allistic children to be specific. are they evil too?

back to topic, ya, eye contact. lets be frank, eye contact can help communication, BUT, it should be CONSENTUAL. i only do that with very very close people, very rarely. interacting with strangers, i rather look at their nose bridge than their eyes, and then make myself some reason why my gaze should be elsewhere. like sorting something out, ya. sooooo ya people who have dependence on eye contact rythm should be more forgiving for us, ya. because demands to follow their preset is like demands to wear less (or more) cloths because THEY want to see (or not see) ur body. i chose my own level of revealing, thanx. but thats all sounding ideal here, in aliens' nest. back in human word they just.wont.listen. not on systemic level. tyranny of the majority etc.

also i apologise for my outburst yesterday.

its more to other people, who might not like to see me like that xd but ya, im just well, trying to work that s**t down. move on. live.

same here, magneto. same here. im trying. problem is see, hate is easy. somewhat comfy. rage is one hell of anesthetic, for real. u feel that, everything else gets pushed back. the world seems clear, just in a red hue. i've hurt people who had nothing to do with my problems, because they just happened to be underfoot and i didnt care who i am grazing. and blackouts still happen. sometimes i let them happen. but i do my best to separate my frustration from my perception of innocent people. autistic mind can do a lot. like support several artificial personas, that each are responsible for a certain emotional preset. i have 7. I JUST realised how constant hate burns me and what little is left of my life. how it kills what i care for. so ya i did this. i allways had been somewhat ambivalent, but i took it and made it into this, developing 2-3 half-dull streams of my consciousness into possible 7, each of which have their own angle of view at anything i encounter. ya its not stable. its actually highly unstable. and if all (or most) of them agree on being pissed off, i am one hell of explosive b***h. which people often dont see coming, at that. then there are triggers that shut down the entire system. u had seen some, ya. thats me. but there are times (quite a lot) when i feel hope, feel affection, feel also the emotional responces from other people. things u dont get thru pure rage. it makes u lonlier than u'd be otherwise. people see the other me, they respond to other me. the me that doesnt hate their guts just because she needs to not feel her world of pain. and then hate f***s off gradually because their emotional responce to a non-hateful me keys in more positive emotions. which keys in more positive responce. some people dont care. some people think i should emotionally provide for them, in any given state. those people i do my best to just exclude (and they would come pelting back for my blood, at that). and i hate them, their f**kery, their allistic BS. but i know its just them. not the whole damn world. and ya i cant get employed. being female atop of being autistic, and being too old atop of that. jackpot. labor market junk, me. there will allways be an allistic young male to take instead of me. but its not the fault of that allistic young male. he just won a competition, and i lost. breaking as it is. i hate the corporate system that has a system of squeezing people out and then discarding them (which is why they pref abformentioned type, they have more to squeeze them off). i hate recruiters, oh how i hate recruiters. and ofc i hate allistic monkey dances that are main topic of this thread. i hate that. i hit that. but hitting that only helps to wind down, nothing else. system wont change, because it suits the majority. how much math can i do with this overclocked brain? doesnt matter. i cant do smalltalk. allistics in workspace dont like me and gang up on me, and i get fired whenever possible, because i didnt fit in the team. there be dragons. or rather, centipedes. call the disinsection please. too bad those s**ts are so resistant. and the older i get the more non-existent my allready non-existent chances go. i had gotten a few odd jobs when i was at least young, now i get nothing. i am a liability. i could hate u, ukno, for at least being male and young, 2 out of 3? but i dont. not at all. not 1 out of 7. u get the s**t and it doesnt matter if ur chances in theory are better, u still get it. and we cant be enemies just because of different gender, ukno. i get that au males have their own s**t thats different from what fems get. like the fact that u are even more expected to be chummy buddy with ur male co-workers for example. while i can a bit distance myself on gender basis. (bc ya unbecoming for a young woman to go to bar with 5 males). tho i do pref being around allistic males rather than allistic females. those are... well most of them, are very annoying. males at least keep some distance due to gender stereotypes, hail stereotypes for a small change. in male-to-male monkey dance u have to shake hands. in female-to-male u can just nod and make that 666-times-accursed eye contact. in female-to-female there are HUGS and KISSES. f*****g dont touch me, whats wrong with u allistic females! and u dont want any of that, u are first on the train OUT, AUT. allways, ya. they dont even understand what goes wrong, but they dont like u, so u didnt fit in the collective. AUT with u. sorry, im getting too carried on. u will say FU b***h, u at least got there. i got there, i got out. im unemployed for somewhat 8 years now. last job ended me up in hospital, at that. getting in is only start of nightmare. and everybody in my real life thinks i am a lazy bummer who just wants to leech. that goes to ur statement about us dominating workspace. we dont dominate it ffs, it still is majored by allistics and subjected to all that allistic BS, which takes awful forms in workspaces. for example forbidding u to make a sound curtain of ur preference so u can focus on work. u listen to music, u dont work. dixi. thats a small one. i now understand that a unistream brain cant really process info as we do, so they dont imagine it possible. doesnt f*****g matter really. majority will allways get it's way. thats democracy for u. and me. and that other person over there, who is allistic, but genderfluid. they want to wear a dress on their male body, ukno. they cant do that if they dont want to commit a social suicide. and deaf person wont also be employed over a hearing one, for comfort of majority, too. this world is f****d, and i dont really cant imagine how to unf**k it for real. sorry for language.