How to get to know your neighbors?

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It feels weird to just knock on people's doors and say "Hi. I'm _____. I want to get to know you" but uh... where else would I start?

I live in a suburban neighborhood where it's almost exclusively married couples and families. At least my next-door neighbors don't have kids, so they'd probably be a bit more open to getting to know random people.

Especially in the 'burbs, a common tactic is to catch them outside and then its easy to simply walk up to them and say, "Hey, I'm your new neighbor." That's exactly what I did after I moved into my new house last fall. Apparently I came across as an ok (dare I say neurotypical?) guy. I'm a retired man with no family and he turned out to be a middle aged man with 3 or 4 kids so we had little in common but we at least wave to each other in passing and if we are outside together have a little conversation.

Bring a brand new gift or present with you. Something they can definitely easily use, could be pack of bath salts, small box of snacks, potpourri, laundry detergent, something useful and good, though not too expensive, but neither cheap junk.

Bringing a gift makes things easier for you, as conversation starter, and easier for them to reply to. Don’t need to make definite invitations immediately, as it might look too forward, but just make a self introduction, so they will know who you are, and that you are genuinely friendly.

The goal of this is that when you meet the second time, from now on, everyone will be in relaxed familiar atmosphere. Think of this as an “Icebreaker” activity, which is what it actually is.

It doesn’t guarantee any real friendship will happen. But it’s just to make the atmosphere in the neighborhood and between neighbors, to become cordial.

I’ve actually done it before and it works.

Although no real friendship was made, whenever we bump into each other, we can talk and chat to each other in a genuinely pleasant, relaxing and friendly atmosphere. We aren’t friends, but we’re friendly to each other.

It is also helpful when you are on holidays away from your home, for a long period of time, and you’d like someone in the neighborhood to just keep an eye on the well-being of your home. In case of a fire or if some incident occurs.

Why is it important to know your neighbors?

I've only talked to 3 of them (out of 7) and one has moved. Last place i lived i only talked to 4 i usually met in the elevator and there were at least 15 apartments in that stairwell.

But focusing on the topic: Maybe you could join some sort of organization for tenants (common where i live), or some sort of social club in the neighborhood.

I didn't even get to know my housemates during uni very well, let alone neighbours from others houses. Occasionally I might say 'hello' but that's about it.

in Houston apartments, it’s normal not to know your neighbors

* and from what I see this applies to both those of us on the spectrum and not

Approaching new people for establishing a formal or informal relation may not be everyone's cup of tea. Sometimes it can be really awkward to go to the doorsteps just to say a "hi". But sometimes you are fortunate enough to experience the other way round.
Social gatherings may serve the purpose and even taking kids out to the park may also provide the opportunity to know your neighbors.

I didn't find it very difficult.

I am an extreme introvert and I am happy being an introvert. My wife is an extreme extrovert and she is happy being an extrovert. It is important for me to allow her to be the best extrovert she can be. If I lock her away in a house and restrict her from developing new friendships, I will break her. So it is important for me to encourage and expand her social network. When we moved into a new housing development, none of our new neighbors came by for a visit. I could see she was a little lonely. I also saw that our new neighbors were all waiting for someone else to break the ice. So when I got home from work each day I would take my wife in tow and walk over to a neighbor and knock on their door and introduce us and invite them over for a cup of coffee. About half of our neighbors were glad to meet us and they immediately invited us in for a chat. They became instant friends. This may sound like a strange thing for an introvert to do. But I am fearless but my wife is not and besides I didn’t really need to socialize, I just needed to introduce ourselves and then stand back and let my wife do all the talking.

Ask to borrow a pound of sugar or something....

I just walked up to my neighbor's front door and introduced myself. Where I live it's not weird, though almost everyone on our block is older and/or retired so they grew up in a time period where being super friendly with your neighbors was normal and expected (although I didn't know this when we moved here ).

Or maybe you can talk to them when you see them out getting the mail or walking their dog or whatever. That's what I did with my neighbor who lives on the other side of us.

I think people are going to either think you're weird or you're just friendly. After introducing yourself, maybe just ask them how they like the area. People will generally start talking if you ask them an open-ended question like that.