Have no friends at all in adulthood

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Hi
I have this situation, I have never been able to make or keep friends my entire life. My situation started in childhood and has followed me into adulthood. I have tried to make friends, but I keep failing. I go to university and in my second year and still keep getting rejected by people at Uni. I don't know what I am doing wrong, that people just want to avoid or reject me? I have been depressed severally times throughout out my life because of it. I have tried to meet new people, but I just keep failing over and over. I just wanna know if anyone else has experienced this? As I am very isolated and lonely.

Thanks

I've never had any friends as an adult, although I had people (the other nerds) I spoke to in school. Sometimes I wish I had a few friends, but I'm not sure it's something I have power over. To be quite honest, I think such things as true friends don't exist in our disconnected, asocial, paranoid world - certainly, Facebook "friends" are nothing of the sort.

Once upon a time, one could have stricken up conversation with a neighbour - doing so is now liable to get one a restraining order. It was once possible to make friends in pubs, but this has since been ruined (by design) by the ridiculous and fascist smoking bans, introduced to prevent the working classes from congregating. Everything about the world is rigged to ensure that human connections are impossible.

Smoking is discouraged by the government because it's a known carcinogen to humans. It's been banned in most public places because secondhand smoke causes disease and death in nonsmoking adults and children. It lowers life expectancy and increases health care costs.

The idea is to improve the health of the overall public. Where on earth did you get the idea that it's some weird conspiracy to prevent people from getting together?? And what on earth would be the reason for or the goal to be achieved by "preventing the working classes from congregating??" LOL That makes absolutely no sense.

No one is stopping anyone from going to a pub. You just can't smoke there. You're free to smoke outside with the other smokers. You gotta stop getting your news from Youtube.

I talk to my neighbors all the time----no restraining order here!

I go to Uni too and yes I am getting involved in organizations but for me, college is about "Getting there." However, clubs of your interest is an essential place to make connections where people have things in common with you. I see that you like Yoga. That's a good place to start.

Also, I have been learning about something called "Mirror" therapy where you learn to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you want to be friends. Then you do things together as a "Me and Me." It is supposed to build up your confidence.

Sources
1. Daniel Wendler is a really good source and he has a website called "Improve your social skills.com." He has a couple of TEDx talks too that are really great.
2. The Unwritten Social Rules of Relationships by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron
3. Autism is Heels is supposed to be good as well since I love Jennifer O'Toole.

Also, using positive affirmations- today, I am going to make a new friend who is positive

Since you are a first time poster, welcome to Wrong Planet!

This is a very common problem among Aspies. There are no easy answers. But first off do not blame yourself. Also you do not need hundreds of friends to feel fulfilled. All it takes is one or two good ones. Since most Aspies face this problem, I would suggests that you find a few Aspies to become friends. It is mutually beneficial. Most of my best friends in life have been Aspies. Aspies tend to be loyal, honest and trustworthy and they are not inclined to be bullies, con artists or social manipulators. But most Aspies have very focused interest. So you may have to be very patient with them while they unload years of conversation they held deep inside and finally are able to explode and release all their interest at once.

I really agree with Jimmy about connecting with other people who are on the spectrum and they don't have to be a lot of them. I mainly seem to associate with other Aspies and similar types of neurodiversity tribes.

Here is a really good ted talk "You Belong" by Daniel Wendler
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQfQWipbn

I cry every time I hear his story because it's just so touching but in the end he met Kyler.

I think making friends as an adult is easiest when you get to be in a school or workplace, that you have chosen because of your interest. I used the expression 'get to be' 'cause I know it's not possible for everyone. I was lucky enough to attend a university of applied sciences that involves a specific program for environmental operating and sustainable development, they have always been my focus of interest and I found many people alike. The downside is, almost everyone else are about ten years younger than me. I don't go to each party and I just can't stay up too late, but nevertheless we seem to share same kind of sense of humour and justice. Then again, I find it hard to connect with people of my own age, since they tend to have children, a career and a huge housing debt. Nothing I can relate to...
I have one actual friend in a similar life situation (no kids or debt, still trying to figure out what to do with this life), but we don't get to see each other too often, because of schedules... I never really had friends before adulthood, so I'm kind of used to being alone, or just hanging with my spouse. He is a real treasure. Oh well, I can't lie, sometimes I get lonely or bored staring at he walls of my appartement, especially when drunk. Alcohol makes me social, but it's not always a good thing..I can get really annoying

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