New to this. I think I belong. Hear me out.

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I'm 26 years old and live in Montana. I have a pretty normal life with a wife and child and full time job and function pretty normally as far as most people are concerned. Behind the scenes Its not so simple. I'm very reclusive and dont like crowds of people. I especially hate drunk belligerent people. I require 6-8 hours per day of virtually no verbal communication with others or I become easily agitated. When spoken to, if the topic isnt directly important I typically become flustered because it interrupted my though process. For example, My wife may call simply to say she loves me and that our son is being a monster. Though I appear and sound fine, inside I've gone clean crazy that I was interrupted with such an irrelevant topic. I know this isnt normal but I cant help the anxiety.

Light and sound sensitivity.
Often times normal house lighting and average sounds will cause me extreme anxiety which can result in verbal outburst attempting to quiet everything and everyone around me to relieve the...pain?

Obsessive tendencies.
Once I become interested in some sort of technical topic I often become obsessed with it to the point of annoying my wife sometimes to the point the gets very angry with me. I do my best to moderate how much attention I give to my "Hobby" but listening to 10+ hours of educational content on the victim subject via headphones every day for weeks or months drives my co-workers and wife crazy as I am difficult to communicate with due to being so focused on the topic at hand. For example in 1 year I learned how to build computers and basic coding along with Blockchain and cryptocurrency coding. I also learned how to trade and use most blockchain and smart contract platforms and their many dapps. Cryptography, TOR, the list goes on all the while maintaining a marriage and full time job. If my brain becomes bored, I become uncomfortable.

Hearing the same joke, same song or learning the same bit of information twice causes me anxiety for some reason (you wont catch me listening to radio station). Even my son asking the same question 2 or 3 times as toddlers do makes my insides twist.

This is obviously social anxiety of sorts. I didnt last long in school do to these qwerks. Proudly homeschooled.

Complexity entertains me.
I have a wonderful understanding of math but simply cannot apply it on paper. Hand writing is difficult for me beyond simple chicken scratch.
I'm also very bad with names and calender dates. Any number over 7 digets is a no go.
I try but am not sufficient at spelling (thank god for spell check)
Short term memory is spotty. Can commit to a task and forget the task before getting a chance to start it. We are talking seconds here. After a few seconds I can usually peice together what I was up to.

I've always enjoyed being alone with my thoughts for long periods and even fasting for increased concentration. Deep though or deep concentration keeps me calm.

Talking on the phone is not fun for me and I dont know how else to explain it.

I lack some empathy or ability to show it and other emotions. Stressful events such as financial emergencies or death/injury of loved ones dont effect me the same as others. I'm still in as much pain as everyone else but I lack the ability to show it when times are tough. This is a sort of hell for me as the bottled up emotions will all surface at once months down the road resulting in panic attacks and verbal outburst.

Over the years I've learned to hide most of these things from family and friends. Lately certain things have been showing through and concerning me and my family.

I guess I'm just hoping someone here can relate and or give me advice. I'm not sure if I belong here or in some sort of anger management program but I'm a very happy person if left to my routines and am not bothered unnecessarily. Feel free to ask me any question you feel necessary to help paint a better picture.

Thank you for your time and consideration.
Someone who feels as if they are on the wrong planet.

It looks like there are at least 23 autism specialists in Montana according to Montana Autism Center website. I'm assuming that some of them are fairly close to where you live. I would recommend you get an assessment.

It's not possible for anyone here to diagnose you, not that you asked for that specifically. If you feel after doing research that you think you might be autistic, you're welcome to refer to yourself here as "self-diagnosed" rather than definitively autistic until such time that you would be professionally diagnosed.

You have other people you're responsible for since you have a family. It would behoove you therefore to take steps to minimize your frustration from the challenges you face as a husband and father.

Welcome to wrong planet.

You do not have to be autistic to belong here.

As said by the previous poster we can not diagnose you.

I can say that that many of what you describe are traits associated with autism with the exception of not liking things repeating.

If you do go for assessment try and find a clinician that understands how autism presents in adults.

Autism caused or not many of us have the same traits.