Jonathan & Andrea (Working Title): Prologue
Greatshield17
Velociraptor
Joined: 14 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 431
Location: Columbia-Kootenay Region, British Columbia
A quick warning before I begin, this prologue and series is religious and political in theme, and in this prologue in particular, it briefly touches on a very controversial subject and takes a brief jab at a certain political figure involved in it.
This is the prologue to one of my two overlapping Catholic slice-of-life book series, the other one going under the working title of Angello Ortega. Jonathan & Andrea follows the lives of the two titular characters as they struggle to raise a Catholic family, deal with things from their past which occasionally pop-up, and deal with major events that are going on in the world outside and slowly grow more and more intense as the time passes. (In the Angelo Ortega series, you get more of a birds-eye view of what's happening, while this series, you're sort of up-close and personal with the family as they struggle to deal with the forces beyond their control.)
Here's my prologue, I'm a bit concerned with two things in it. First, I want to make sure that I haven't broken the show don't tell rule in introducing the two protagonists, it seemed alright when I proof-read it, but maybe there's something I'm missing. Also you might have noticed one or contradictions, between what has been stated and how the characters act, but some of this is simply natural behaviour while other stuff is explained later on in the series. The Second thing I'm concerned with is, I noticed several mood swings while proof-reading the prologue, sometimes mood-swings are natural and realistic, but I want to soften some the jarring shifts in some of these changes and could use some advice on how to do that. I have noticed however, that the raw content itself there, does do a good job introducing the main themes and messages of this series, I just want it smoothed and straightened out. Finally, please let know of any grammar errors I may have made in this prologue and how to correct them, here's the prologue:
Andrea chuckled softly as she stepped out of the car and felt the snow fall on her head and shoulders. The two loved snow, it was on a snowy day back in the twelfth grade of high school that the couple first met. Andrea was a young woman with glasses and long dark brown hair that was usually done up in a feminine looking ponytail, which she now covered under the hood of her winter jacket. Her personality was cheerful and fun-loving to the point of silliness, which sometimes annoyed her husband. Jonathan was more serious in his personality though kind and good-natured. He had black hair and an average build. Jonathan usually spoke in formal yet simple and common-sensical fashion and usually preferred to get right to the point on things. However, there were a few areas in his relationship with Andrea where there were a few things he couldn't bring out bluntly. In the past, he tended to be rather pessimistic but Andrea was ruthless in cheering it out of him, he still had a bit of it though.
The Vaniers had been married for slightly over a year now, they had married back in 2018, on the Octave of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. They were both Faithful Catholics, Jonathan Varnier was a revert from a lapsed Catholic family of French Canadian origins. Andrea was a convert from a mostly, equally lapsed Protestant family, who were members of a slightly liberal-leaning (though originally mildly conservative up until around two decades and a half ago) Protestant denomination. It was in 2017 that Jonathan reverted and Andrea converted at aproximately the same time. Prior to their joining the Catholic Faith the two had been living wayward lives, after joining the Church, Jonathan and Andrea had to struggle a lot to heal the wounds of their past sins, the vast majority of which, were inflicted on themselves and each other.
Becoming members of the Catholic Faith required the couple making other big changes in their lives, both Jonathan and Andrea wanted reverent liturgy, and at the time, the only Latin Mass available in their diocese was Immaculate Conception Catholic Church in Kelowna. Jonathan and Andrea both, had to go through the stress of moving and finding homes and jobs. The couple had originally lived in the Columbia-Kootenay Region and while overall, the move to Kelowna had been positive and a good fresh-start for their lives as Catholics, they had to give up a lot of things. Andrea in particular, had a small group of friends she had to leave behind, as well as her grandfather David, although he did say he was considering moving to the Okanagan sometime in the future.
While the Okanagan Valley was a beautiful place in its own right, full of farmlands and vineyards, the Varniers couldn’t help but miss the natural beauty of their home region. In the bright summers, the abundant trees would become full of deep, emerald-green leaves. And of course, the winters in their home region, were full of thick deep snow.
“Are you ready?” Asked Jonathan as he got ready to push their toboggan down the slope.
“Absolutely!” Answered Andrea, perched excitedly at the front.
Jonathan pushed the toboggan over with his legs and hopped onto the back. The two sailed down the slope, Andrea giggling and squealing happily as snow-covered evergreens flew past them. They hit a bump in their path and jolted sideways, coming to a quick but smooth stop. They both laughed, but Andrea’s was by far, the loudest and most boisterous as she leaned back happily in the bow of the sled, her sanguine face turned upwards.
“It’s so beautiful.” She said softly, as she watched the snowflakes flutter gently down out of the silver sky. “God is so good and kind, He’ll even make and send down little pieces of frozen water for us to enjoy! I hope and pray that my love for Him never, melts, heheh!”
“Heh,” chuckled Jonathan, “that’s what our brown scapulars are for; and why we say various prayers for final perseverance. But still keep in mind, while Love never melts, He was crucified on a Friday in spring.”
“H’yeah,” chuckled Andrea, a bit uneasily. “God has lavished a lot of blessings on me, but He still expects me to take up my cross and follow Him up Mount Calvary.” She sat up and looked south, Okanagan Lake was visible over a bump covered in thick snow, between two snowy evergreens.
“Hey Andrea?” Jonathan leaned forward slowly and carefully placed his hand on her stomach. “How are you feeling about this so far?”
“Okay, but still quite nervous.” She replied somewhat quietly. “You know, really hoping and praying to be a good mom, one that we wished we had growing up.”
“Don’t worry, we have a lot on our side, God, Our Lady, the Saints, the Sacraments and Sacramentals.”
“Yeah I know, I want to, I have every intention of following this vocation. It’s just that now, this it, I’m on my mission now, no turning back.”
“Hey relax, just think about how in a few years, you’ll be telling our child about how all this snow he or she is enjoying is a tiny way that God shows His love for us.”
“Aww, thanks!” She chuckled tenderly. “Yeah, you’re right, there is so much going for us, no matter how hard things get. We just need to trust in God and we can go far!”
“Our future winters will have one more child to fill the air with his or her laughs and giggles. A few days ago, I came across a video promoting a photo book of snowy scenes from New York. It was beautiful, and the author read a beautiful poem to accompany the photos featured in the book. But then I thought about, you know, Cuomoloch!”
“Oh!” A lightening bolt of righteous anger, flashed briefly across Andrea’s face at the mention of the unfaithful governor.”
“Yeah, I thought about him, and how his policies will make winters in New York much quieter with you know, fewer laughing and giggling voices to fill them. Then again, winters in west in general have gotten a lot quieter in these recent years.”
“I should write a book called ‘Silent Winter.’” Quipped Andrea.
“Hah, ’Silent Winter.’ Well there won’t be any ‘silent winters’ at our place, just lots of fun.”
“Yeah, I look forward to it!”
And with that, the two took their toboggan and headed back up the hill for another slide down.
Just one more quick side note, here's the parish that Jonathan & Andrea (as well as Angello Ortega) attend, and where I also want to move to and attend someday: Immaculate Conception Catholic Church
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Don't bother with me, I'm just a narrow-minded bigot who does nothing but "proselytize" not because I actually love the Faith, because no one loves the Faith, we're just "using it to justify our bigotry." If you see any thread by me on here that isn't "proselytizing," I can't explain that because that's obviously impossible; because again, all I've ever done on here is "proselytize."
WP is the 2nd worst forum site I have ever been on.
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