Eating

Post Reply New Topic

Hi. I'm a newbie.

So here's how I realized I have autism -- at age 54.

My wife loves to have conversations during meals. I find it maddening. She views eating as a way to socialize. I view it like going to the bathroom -- you sit down, do what you need to do, and leave. This and other disconnects have her thinking about divorce.

So when we talked to a therapist about it, the possibility was brought up that I have autism. And she's probably right.

I was the "odd" kid in elementary school, middle school, high school and college who always ate by himself -- and saw absolutely nothing wrong with it. Of course today, if a kid eats by himself/herself, the school psychologist gets involved. And in the '70s and '80s, the attitude was "He's shy, he'll grow out of it."

So am I the only one who really, REALLY prefers eating alone? How do people deal with times when they must eat and socialize?

I kind of feel the same way or at least my family does, we eat first and then talk after everyone is finished eating.

Like you have the meal, you can't talk and eat at the same time right, so eat before the food gets cold and then converse over tea or coffee after the meal. (Well my family only does this at parties.)

Typically we finish eating and then we bring up a conversation topic. We don't take a bite, talk, take a bite, talk some more. I always thought that maybe my family was odd, considering a lot of tv shows, show people talking and eating. Yet my dining room is silent during mealtime.

I always ate by myself in school (Not by choice, so much as I had nobody to sit with.) I didn't mind too much, but I still noticed how alone I was in a crowd. I typically ate and then moved to the library during lunchtime.

On how to deal with times when you have to eat and socialize, I would suggest eating before the event and then look at the meal before you not as an actual meal, but maybe a snack or something. Focus on socializing and maybe take one or two bites every couple of minutes so you don't look rude.

But since I have practically no friends and don't actively go to social occasions my advice may not be accurate.