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Being able to judge character

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Cloudman
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10 Feb 2020, 6:30 pm

I think one of my biggest challenges is my tendency to misread people's interest because they talk the good talk. How can you judge someone's character as someone with asd.


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Mona Pereth
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10 Feb 2020, 7:02 pm

I have a similar problem.

Only time will tell what a person is really like.

So I've had to learn to be slow to trust people, yet at the same time be friendly while getting to know people.

Thus it takes me a long time to get to know someone well enough to consider that person my friend.

This, for me, is one of the reasons why common interests are an absolutely essential ingredient of a budding friendship. There is simply no way I am going to have enough time, energy, and "spoons" to spend enough time with someone to get to know them well unless I can get to know them mostly in the context of doing something else that I would be doing anyway.


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old_comedywriter
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10 Feb 2020, 7:25 pm

Be a little cynical.


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Mona Pereth
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10 Feb 2020, 7:38 pm

old_comedywriter wrote:
Be a little cynical.

Problem is, a too-cynical attitude makes you unfriendly, which in turn makes it much harder to make friends even with (and perhaps especially with) the very same people who would otherwise be good potential friends.

So, in order to make friends, one needs to learn to "love many, trust few" -- and figure out how to streamline one's life so the "love many" part of that doesn't consume too much time/energy/spoons.


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Hollywood_Guy
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11 Feb 2020, 11:30 pm

I think there is a line between being friendly while not being too revealing at least at first.



Cloudman
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12 Feb 2020, 1:09 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
I have a similar problem.

Only time will tell what a person is really like.

So I've had to learn to be slow to trust people, yet at the same time be friendly while getting to know people.

Thus it takes me a long time to get to know someone well enough to consider that person my friend.

This, for me, is one of the reasons why common interests are an absolutely essential ingredient of a budding friendship. There is simply no way I am going to have enough time, energy, and "spoons" to spend enough time with someone to get to know them well unless I can get to know them mostly in the context of doing something else that I would be doing anyway.
yea that makes sense. If they like the same thing there is a common object to bond over. I met I very great person this way however they seem to be bothered by my tendency to take more time and practice to accomplish things


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