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How Social would you want to be?

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How Social do you want to be?
10 Life of the Party 7%  7%  [ 1 ]
9 Party Organizer 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
8 Socialite 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
7 Salesman 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
6 Part of a Clique 7%  7%  [ 1 ]
5 Normal 7%  7%  [ 1 ]
4 Reluctant Party Goer 14%  14%  [ 2 ]
3 Reclusive Neighbor 36%  36%  [ 5 ]
2 Social Hermit 29%  29%  [ 4 ]
1 Forever Alone 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 14

auntblabby
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11 Feb 2020, 10:59 pm

when i belonged to an aspie group [RIP] i was a strong 4. but now that i've been away from that for almost 4 years now, i've retreated back to 3. i would not mind being a strong 4 again, doubt the opportunity will arise in my neck of the woods.



Archmage Arcane
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12 Feb 2020, 10:22 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
I disagree with your ranking.

I'm not capable of participating in most parties. Unfocused multi-person chit chat, where the topic changes every 10 seconds or so, is utterly confusing and frustrating to me.

The only kinds of social events I can participate in well are ones with a clearly defined structure and focus, and where I know in advance what to expect.

Also I am just not interested in attending any social event at all unless it revolves around a theme that interests me.

Also I'm not good at sales.

However, I have a long history of organizing groups and events. If I'm in charge of an event -- or if, for whatever reason, I'm the natural center of attention -- then I'm in a position to structure things the way I need them to be structured. Also, if I'm in charge of an event, I try to keep an eye out for people who appear lonely or awkward, or who are being ignored by other attendees, and I try to do what I can to help them feel more comfortable, such as introducing them to people I think they would enjoy talking to.

EDIT: Years ago I used to know a guy who was a former local radio DJ and who then worked as an emcee at large parties, but who had a lot of trouble with one-on-one conversation.

So there's no single linear scale of social abilities. A lot of autistic people have spiky ability profiles as far as socializing is concerned, just like a lot of us have spike cognitive profiles.


My sociability varies a lot, but I do see a sort of scale here. Maybe just because you're supposed to see one?

How social I am depends on the group. With most social situations, it's 2 or 3. At library staff meetings, it is 5 or 6. I can manage 7 for short bursts at work (tech instruction, not sales, though), but that uses a lot of spoons. In my radio club, it's between 6 And 9. Might rarely get to 10. And I see I'm not the only one who gets annoyed when the conversation subject changes well before I'm done with the topic or sometimes before I can get a word in edgewise.



rick42
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13 Feb 2020, 12:41 pm

As of now I'm pretty much between 1 and 2,which means I have no friends or even anyone I socialize with at all, and not really by choice. However I would like to be 3 or 4 and being able to have atleast 1 or 2 friends and/or a romantic partner.



auntblabby
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13 Feb 2020, 9:13 pm

^^
i joined a "square pegs" aspie meetup group, that enabled me to go from a1-2, to a 3-4. :idea:



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13 Feb 2020, 9:22 pm

I'm happy at a two and would be okay at a one.

I do enjoy WP friends; I'm not sure where that fits in. I have a team I work with, but rather doubt we'd stay "friends" without the work.


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I love belko61
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13 Feb 2020, 9:37 pm

I'm a solid 3 but most people think I'm a 4 because I'm vague about what I do and sometimes imply having a social life. I could never be anything higher than a 4 or I think I'd go comatose.



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14 Feb 2020, 4:01 pm

That's #4 on a scale of 1 to 10 'reluctant party goer' - not quite the middle of the scale; the middle of the scale is between 5 & 6 - between 'normal' and what seems as a small group of like-minded yet too insular group of say one or two other friends.