Who has unfair advantage: the popular or the unpopular?

Post Reply New Topic

You have to be kidding!

If you come off as friendly, and outgoing, then that attracts folks. Because...you seem friendly ergo...the person wants to reciprocate your friendliness, and maybe entertain the notion of actually becoming friends with you.

If you come off as desperate then that puts folks off- for a bunch of reasons. It implies that you're desperate for some reason. The reason being that nobody likes you for some reason. Ergo you must be an undesireable dislikeable person with problems. Also that you are excessively needy. And like that.

Its a snap judgement animal instinct thing that folks make about what kind of prospect you're likely to be based upon initial impression.

In answer to your original question it's not one or the other, it's all the scenarios.

If she really, really liked the guy she wouldn't care what her friends said. But a less strong person would have seeds of doubt sown in her mind and begin to question her feelings.

If a guy she really liked treated her badly and started ignoring her , then her friends would very correct in telling her she's not the problem and that's he's being a jerk. They're helping her dodge a bullet.

This is why sociopaths target lonely, shy, inexperienced women. Hence all the bad experiences the women here have had.

Hello.
I'm going to poke my nose in here and give you an anecdote. I'm also not in any way, saying that you are guilty of this. I am female. I found myself in a situation where a chap was anxious to be in a relationship with me and just wouldn't accept a friendship. He got a bit troublesome for me and I found it exhausting and stressful. I became very anxious and dreaded his contact. He kept saying he needed a relationship. It was actually obvious without him telling me that. I had to, for my own sanity, bat him away with diplomatic reasoning. He became agitated at that, and I was slightly scared of him. Luckily he decided to bugger off. What a relief that was.

Erm... not really, but also in a ways yes.
Most women, being NT, can tell if a man’s thinking that way... as my wife explains it men, regardless of any factors that they could be sub-classified by, are really easy to read in this regard.
It’s the body language translation thing they do.
Annoying in this case, but objecting to it won’t help.



Erm... you’ve also got a lot of plans for the future of a lady you haven’t met yet.

Sorry: I’m aware that can be a hurtful thing to say, but... it needs to be pointed out.
I’ve felt the agony of wanting love and not seeing it anywhere. Sorry

Given the overwhelming probability that the future Mrs QFT will be neurotypical, you have to win her trust slowly if you want her to see past the differences due to AS, and want to spend the rest of her life with you.
And you have to accept she may have plans for her own life which aren’t quite the same as yours,
not to say that she will of course: but you need to be prepared for this, and to respond out of love in the eventuality.
Marriage is a deal you sign without having worked out the details, and you spend the rest of your life working them out and revising them, and being held to account by them.
And you do it because love.

Also just seen hurtloams post: they don’t know you’re not a predator/abuser/killer. They just know you’re acting in a way they find weird and there are monsters about, and a girl can’t be too careful.