I get this a lot

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I find that whenever I meet a person who is a newbie, they seem like they want to connect with me and things seem to go well. Then before I know it, these people seem to connect with others around them and form a bond while I fade out of the picture. Does anyone else get this?

Not all the time, but that happens with men who things seem to be going somewhere with. Then they get to know other people and I'm not good enough anymore.

Happened with the last guy. I was the only girl he would invite along to things. Then all of a sudden, there were other girls who had moved into our social sphere and suddenly I was nothing. That's when I realised I had only been a place holder and he didn't really have any feelings for me.

Hurtloam,

I had a few guys pull the same thing on me as well but both of them worked out for the best because they were very immature and had issues of their which deemed them not dating material.

I met one of them at an adult autism support group who appeared to flirt with me and act like he was interested the first time I met him. However, he only talked to me once or twice before another woman, who would become my ex-friend showed up. After that, he chose her over me, but it was on a platonic level. However, I chased him and learned that he had very high standards with women where they had to be a high geek like him.

All the time. Maybe they're looking for someone more gullible than I. Who knows?

Lol, I love the emoji.

I always I feel like I am the hostess at a restaurant who talks to someone until the server takes over.

Oh my God yes, this happens to me and I find it hard to understand why. It's like people see there's something off about me that they can't put their finger on (and even I can't put my finger on!) and they think that distancing me is the best thing to do.
Maybe it's to do with my past experiences of social rejection. Some NTs (particularly females in their 20s and 30s) are quite shallow and I'm not quite sure how perfect I need to be in order to be friends with them.

I find this behavior to be quite immature actually and as well as hurtful. What's worse is that these people who pull this often don't get it when you call them out. Moreover, they seem to go on the defense and blame the victim. However, maybe these just are people who were not right for us from the start.

Yeah, so did I at school. These days I don't really interract with enough new people for it to happen.

I think there's a simple, logical reason for it: when people see something they like, in this case another person, they tend to reach out, but when they see a person even more likable than the first one, they want to reach out to that one instead, trying to get the best friend they can. Who'd date a man/woman who's just okay if they think they have a chance at someone great? Most people wouldn't, and that seems to be the same mindset many have about making friends. The only thing that doesn't make much sense is that while people only tend to have one partner, they could keep both the great friend and okay friend, yet the okay one often gets ignored after the great one steps in to the picture. I guess people want to make sure they have enough time for the great one and thus don't want to waste it on the okay one, or fear that the okay one is not considered okay by the great one.

And what tends to make us often be the okay one instead of the great one? Wild guess: (lack of) social skills.

One of the major factors why I stopped going to a Meet Up group. When I wasn’t even invited by the newer people to join in on a video game night despite being on the end of the table where they were talking, that made me consider walking away. Someone else invited me to join a game night on another day and the group leader’s girlfriend snapped at me for a very trivial reason so I made my decision for good that I was done but I should’ve made that decision when I was previously pushed to the wayside.

The closest thing I have to a social group now are the guys who work at the local comic and toy shop. One of them has helped me get back into drawing and even gave me advice on what to do. I had almost given up on nerd/geek culture but there are still nice people in it. It’s just the “uber geeks” like the ones who didn’t include me who make us look bad.

Do you have a comic or toy shop in your area?

That's great and it sounds like you found yourself some nice people who are for you and they aren't going ape over the tattoos and beer. These people sound promising, stick with them. As for a comic book store, yes I do.

I also just thought of something else regarding the people who pull this kind of thing, they aren't worthy of your time or you.

Also, when I lived in one neighborhood during the ages of 5-10, the neighborhood kids often would call me on the phone or ask me to hang out one minute. Then the next, then someone else would come along and then I was told to basically "Get lost."

Did they literally mean for you to only hang out a single minute or did you mean moment? Either way, that’s no fair you were treated that way.

I felt that with a girl back in 2017. Wanted to ask to date her but another guy came in the picture and took her instead. Made me feel inadequate to him.

They would call me up or come to my door in asking if I could play with them and then I would get together with them, which would be going well. Then another kid or opportunity would come along and then I would be told "Sorry, we'll do this another time," in a nice way of "Get lost"

I also had recently associated with another woman who had different disabilities who would invite me to do things with her and then run off with other people whenever we would get together.

I also witnessed this happen to another close friend of mine who had was invited to a convention by another "Friend" of his who was just as unreliable as can be. Basically, he invited my friend to get together with him because he had lost his job. When it came to getting together with my friend, this person ditched him and ran off to role play in his friend's hotel room.

Yes this has happened to me, now when someone says about catching up again I'm thinking "yeah sure"

This also happened to me while I was in jr. high with another boy who I paired off within 8th grade who now agrees with me that he is an autie. When it was just us, he and I were joined at the hips. Then in 9th grade, another off and on a friend of mine made a connection with him because they were both into sports next to their parents seeming to bond as well. So like my other stories, so he started running off with her. After that, he became really mean and stuck-up.

For example, he tried to prove that he was above me by acting condescending whenever I did something silly in my special ed group. "Summer, that's not appropriate." "Summer, don't run in the halls." "Summer, don't embarrass me." However, I ended up outgrowing him, who is still very immature today."