Difficulties you have now that you didn't have before

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I have been overly open to people lately, or just pumping up information that I thought was interesting or funny.
Since they have a social awareness of what is proper and not, they don't tell me to shut up, even when I explicitly ask them to do that if I go to far.
Or they just ignore me, which in a way is better, I am a bit late but I do get the message eventually. Sooner that way than being subtile.
It's a double edged sword, because me opening up and so on is an aspect of me learning to socialise better, but it does cause issues.

Another thing is that I want to show off much more, hey look at my drawings! It's also a double edged sword, since I'm not as shy as before, but yeah.

/Mats

We learn from our mistakes, so "doing too much" and making a lot of mistakes at least means you'll be learning a lot of good lessons, too.

For me, even though I'm learning how to pass better every year, it seems to be taking more out of me than it used to. My social anxiety has amped up in recent years. At this rate I might be a shut-in in five years or so, but maybe things will turn around.

Attention, memory and processing issues.
I'm becoming less aware and more distracted with myself. Also being more unreliably inconsistent.

The more severe, the more it mimics several cognitive and learning disabilities.
So far, it mimics the likes of prosopagnosia, auditory processing disorder, had even mimicked degrees of aphasia, dyspraxia, aleithymia, ADD and bipolar...
It could be worse.



Whatever it was, it's a symptom that can mimic ADD or some form of executive dysfunction. Current suspect would be a form of sleep disorder.

There are times that I got a lucky night, have a restorative sleep (one that completely displaces my sense of time) and waking up without any having said issues above for days.
Only for it to gradually return those dysfunctions and dealing with it again.

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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Memory issues (14 years of on-and-off depression and a few months of ECT have not been kind to my brain. When I was in elementary school I had the stereotypical Aspie memory. Now I can be actively watching a TV show and forget what's on when they go to a commercial break.).

Not being able to tell that I need to pee until it's an emergency (although I had problems through elementary school because I was too shy/embarrassed to ask if I could go to the bathroom).

Not eating unless food is put in front of me (can't explain that one, I just don't feel the motivation to eat even if I'm hungry).

Many difficulties I had before but in a more minor/less noticeable form were amplified after hitting several burnouts. As I write, due to the virus situation I am semi tense or tense. On edge. Trying to make decisions is difficult.
I went to the garage the other day as my car had been sounding a bit clonky lately when I go over bumps. It is usually something like a ball joint that is worn or something like that but no noticeable indicating wear on the tyres. So I went to get the garage to do a quick check. It wax interesting as his car ramps have things that wiggle the car in various ways to be able to identify and worn component. The car was fine in this respect. However, he found the issue. The front shock absorbers need to be changed. They are still working but not as well as they should. He said to get a new pair (As he said buying online for my make of car is cheaper then he can get them) and then bring the car in etc...
Now I don't buy online, and I could not convince my brother to, but I checked the prices. I decided to check at one of my local motor parts places and they gave me prices. Only a little bit more then via the internet, but even they said they were expensive. However, I said yes as I can afford them (Just) and they had a job getting a pair, and had to use a slightly more expensive brand (A good make) and have them sent directly from Germany to Wales. Fair play. They only took two days and they were in the shop.
I went to get them and pay for them, and all was ok.... But now we are on lockdown.
I do not know what to do because I dont know where I stand. One news program said the max we are allowed out is 10 minutes. I cant even drive to the nearest large road as it takes about 25 minutes to drive to the garage. .. And to cycle home afterwards means a two hour ride. No way can I do it in just 10 minutes.
I don't know what to do.
I live in the middle of the countryside. Only a few houses on this mountain. I usually drive to de-stress. Failing that I go for a walk. But to de-stress I need to walk somewhere with a view (Not far as we are on a mountain near the sea) and just sit in the grassy bank and just look at the view. This de-stresses me. But only 10 minutes does not de-stress me.
But trying to make decisions. Do I delay the car repair and just use it as it is? I thought I could do it myself as I have what I need but I don't have small hands and the top bolts of the shock absorbers... Well. Whoever designed this car did not leave a lot of room to get at them. The garage mechanic is a small guy with small hands so he is more likely to undo them then I am. And the top nuts are rusty. I dare not try incase I make his job more difficult (If I fail to loosten them). So I sprayed them with spray oil for now (Being very careful that the mist and smell of the oil does not come my way as I am sensitive to the oil smell. Causes shutdowns).

It is trying to make decisions like this as to where I stand. Am I allowed to get my car repaired or not? If I was given a rule book of what we can or can't do and if something was unclear I had someone in athority I could phone or text somehow, so I had clear instructions and athority so I wont face a fine if I am seen out then I will be happy. But without it I am petrified, as if I am challenged, when I feel like this I have difficulty explaining myself.
So trying to make decisions is soo difficult. It is the "Not sure what to do" decisions which I struggle with.
Other decisions. Like if I am in a large retail shop I am soo on edge and nurvous that security guards are watching me that I am panicy, and I will attract their attention and get asked to leave their store. I have no excuse to give as I have not been diagnosed with anything. (I am waiting for an assessment but here in the UK we have long waits). So I find myself being banned from large stores with security guards and I can't explain myself (Or I am followed around by staff watching my every move which makes me panic all the more!) Also as I am panicky, I find it hard to make buying decisions. I will pick up something I want, but then put it back asking myself "Do I want it?" And then pick it up again ready to buy it... But then put it back... As I need to reach a till that does not have a claustrophobic queue... Most of the time I just can't do it and I leave without buying the things I wanted which involves a drive to get to the store. (Usually about half an hours drive each way from here).
Before these burnouts, I still attracted attention of security guards due to nurves, but I was more able to hold things together so large stores were less of an issue. I also can no longer go in long narrow isles for the fear that peopke will get in my way, as if I am panicing, I can't talk to people easily and need more space around me as my spacial awareness goes. I did not get these issues so much before.
So yes, I am facing many issues that though I had to a smaller degree before, I could cope, but now I am struggling as everything is amplified.

I can also identify with short term memory issues since I have had a few successive burnouts... Also those mind blank moments where I go to somewhere to get something but stand there not knowing what I am getting, and have to go back to the origional place where I needed something to try and remember... And ask me to get another thing while I am getting myself something and I can't do it at all! I have to leave what I origionally went for. Get the new thing (Which the person asked to get while I am there), and then come back to get the thing I wanted on a seperate journey).
Neighbour doesn't understand this. I went out in the car to get something I needed. She caught me before I went out and "While you are there get me this or that etc". I say "I have to nip back in the house to write it down" and she says just go! So I go. An hour or two later I go and give her the thing she wanted, and she says to tell my Mum something and I say "I have to go out" and she says "Where" and I tell her and she is puzzled why I am going out again to the same shop or same area of shops. She does not experience it and so she thinks I am being awkward. (I say this as an example as many occasions like this happen... I am not blaming my neighbour. I only use the scinario as an example, as it has happened with my Mum as well many times... When she says "While you are there" and I get the minor item from the shop and forget all about the reason why I went in the first place!
So nipping out to a shop can be an all day experience! Haha! Not quite! But you get the idea. I HAVE to write things down and put the list in my wallet. Put the list anywhere else and I won't remember the list.

While I did have this issue when I was younger, as I am not as young as I was, these issues are amplified...

I tend to get these issues worse under anxiety/stress, especially if I have burnout and I have not recovered from it (Takes ages and ages to fully recover. Before I thought I had fully recovered, went to take on a low hours part time job in something I could almost do with my eyes closed due to my experience in the job, and I hit another burnout and had to work through it and it was just horrible! Grrrrr!
Yet I love the people. The staff are great. Like the job... It is sad as I just can't take on the job again as it has repeatedly sent me into a burnout. Something mentally triggers and Grrr!

I have major issues with planning and getting dressed correctly.

Also have major issues with planning money and finances.

I think I always had those issues but when I lived with parents I was insulated from those issues because my parents really micromanaged my life.

My money once I was working they had access to my banking so I had two bank accounts my main current account had my wage and my bills like the bus pass till I got my car license and mobile phone came out. The left over was divided weekly by my parents and sent to a cash card account in a way like how a kid has pocket money.

My mum would also make sure I was dressed correctly by picking my underwear and clothes to make sure they were sensible. Course she didn't like it when I brought things like lace bras and thongs.

I always found it hard to plan even simple things like getting to work on buses it took weeks before I could learn the bus routes.

Due this the level of micromanagement I had I would say till I moved in with my partner and brought our home I never really grew up which resulted in some major shocks and a fast requirement to learn and grow up.

It is quite frustrating as the struggles I face my partner also an aspie never seems to struggle with the things I do though he has been running a fighting battle with mental health recently.

Itchy

$$

Bowel movements

Eating too much

Exhausted all the time