Autism Parents May Be At Risk For PTSD

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Challenging child behaviours positively predict symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder in parents of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Rare Diseases - Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders Volume 69, January 2020, 101467

And then PTSD parents are more likely to inflict PTSD on their own children... which would likely make the child's health and behavior even more problematic... which would...
Yes, the issue is most likely serious and worth adressing. An isolated system of autistic kid and PTSD parent is likely to spiral down to hell

I am clearly among those 18% suffering from PTSD. In the evenings I'm having this enormous pressure in my throat and chest which leaves me exhausted. It's not connected to my boy having challenging behaviors, it's rather caused by the uncertain future and all the confusing information coming from all directions.

We've been setting up a group for parents with autism/adhd, or more correctly, my wife did. I would never come up with that kind of idea. Either way, all the other kids in that group seem to be doing just fine. Autism level 1, is that even a problem??? I can detect the adhd but the autism is so subtile it's ridiculous, really. For example, they sit and read together with their kids... They can communicate! They can tell their kids to try different things...
All those things are completely unthinkable to me. So yeah, the stress just gathers up when I'm among other parents with "problems" . So its gone from comparing NT kids to other autistic kids now, and we still can't find any comfort at all.

Is there any other parent out there with PTSD or who can relate to this situation?

I think you are doing a good thing, meeting with other families. And I love that you pointed this out:
"It's not connected to my boy having challenging behaviors, it's rather caused by the uncertain future and all the confusing information coming from all directions."

I'm not in your situation at the moment, but I was. One thing that helped me was realizing that I could and should shut out all the voices trying to give me parenting advice or compare children. You pay attention to your child, use cues from him to help him thrive, and toss out every other assumption and voice that keeps coming at you. When you want an answer, you seek it from sources with which you've gained some level of trust and comfort (for me, that was this place). While reading and gathering information is important to this journey, only pieces of it apply at any given time, and in the interest of managing your own bandwidth I would simply ignore whatever doesn't apply today.

My ASD son is now 22. He graduated from college last June and finding his career job has been slow going. He never had any trouble with summer jobs, but he also never had to "work" to get those. Now he has to learn the skills of persistence and perseverance. I trust he will. Meanwhile, he is busy working on some pet projects that may or may not ever yield results he can monetize, and also providing a lot of guidance and support to his girlfriend, who is also ASD. Unlike him, she was never diagnosed, and never learned to manage her sensory overload. So she still melts down frequently, and dealing with it from the other side (the person wanting to help) has been quite a revelation for my son. He has become incredibly grateful for all we did for him growing up, how we prioritized teaching him to recognize his own overload and take mitigation measures long before a meltdown happens. I guess I hope this little paragraph helps you feel some hope.

The years before you feel your child has mastered a few key life skills are very hard. I do remember the point when I finally believed to my core it would be OK. I think my son was in 8th grade. Before that I would say he had good prospects, but it felt very unknown. I stayed focused on the priority of the day and, honestly, tried to not think too much about the future beyond using it to identify what to prioritize. But there was a point where I realized one of the most worrisome skills had been dealt with and I felt so much pride in how he had stuck with doing the hard work to overcome the obstacle. Suddenly really seeing the results of all of us dealing with years of frustration but never giving up. It's a good moment, if you are lucky enough to have it.

I can't promise you that moment. But I can say that even with an NT child no one could promise your child a good future. My NT daughter has issues that snuck up on us and exploded. Personally, I prefer the more obvious issues that come with ASD. It was just easier for me to solve.

You know your child. You know what skills will matter to the kind of future his talents and interests might craft for him, and what skills are social constructs you can ignore even if the world around you wants to obsess over them. When we raise ASD kids we get to through out the rule book. We NEED to throw out the rule book. So quiet all those overwhelming outside voices.

Good luck. I hope this helps. If not, hopefully another poster will have the words that speak to you. We never know.

My mum has some sort of PTSD from her childhood upbringing, as her father was a severe alcoholic and always displayed frightening and abnormal behaviour.
Then she went and had 2 children; me with Asperger's and ADHD, and my brother with depressive disorder and possible Asperger's. So my poor mum has had her hands full with insanity - no wonder she's now suffering with her health.

I suppose she was expecting both her children to turn out neurotypical like most children of neurotypical parents are, plus she hadn't heard of autism back then.

Just to let you know, there are other people out there who had the same kind of life. My colleague at work comes from that kind of background; father drank a lot and wasn't the best person to be around. His children turned out to have asperger/adhd (2 with diagnosis and 2 that probably should have had some diagnosis). His wife is my fathers cousin, so the DNA-traces are obvious in our family.

DW_a_mom, thank you for your reply and sharing your story about your kids. I love reading these stories. Had a reply halfway typed but then realized I'm moving away from the subject of the thread

I will need to post something for advice later on. I've been wanting to ask so many questions but I just can't get a post together because there is just so many things on my mind.

I can hear the the sound of parents all over the world saying that my child is the source of my suffering