It has taken Lockdown to make me realise that I have been in lockdown all my life.
Especially in these latter years: after my children have grown up, my wife and I have effectively separated, my career has petered out and I have had the luxury to largely withdraw from the world to follow my inclinations.
I think it is a waste, but I have never wanted to be where I was not wanted.
And it is clear now that I have not been wanted often.
Despite, or perhaps because of, what I have brought to the party.
Lockdown is to me no different to normal; except now there are fewer interruptions, I don't feel so non-conformist, and there's less road noise.
Besides, it's spring here, and the weather has been quite good, too.
It's interesting to observe the tumult among NT folk, though.
Their curiously entitled, urgent and shrill enunciations of recent losses must tick off and inventory some like mine, of a lifetime.
It is food for thought.
Does anyone here I wonder feel the same?
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Every worthwhile human being will instinctively aspire after a secret citadel where he is set free from the crowd, the many, the majority...
Friedrich Nietzsche
02 May 2020, 3:22 am
