Sometimes feel jealous of my partner
I feel horrible for even typing this but need to talk about it.
Has anyone here has or is in a relationship and they have felt jealous of there loved one in some way.
Don't get me wrong my partner deserves the success he has but I just feel like I should on paper be at the same level or higher bit not.
In context my partner does not have a degree and and as many qualifications besides what he needs in his field of work and he is a highly qualified and paid network engineer who earns after taxes near 3k a month.
His CV shows no time where he was unemployed and he has always worked and is able to cope with day to day life.
Me I have a degree I study a lot I consider myself very well educated but my job even though I have a degree is just a entry level data entry job I cannot seem to go any higher.
My wage after taxes is only 1.2k a month I feel like it's pitiful which it is.
My job history is full of me leaving jobs cause I got bored and there is gaps in my CV which may be helping my promotion prospects and I feel daily day to day stuff hard and boring.
I cannot manage money my parents used to manage my wages and bank accounts and hand out pocket money up until I moved out.
I struggle with managing workloads both at work and at home though it's easier at work but my partner finds it so easy it's a breeze for him.
I love him but there is on rare occasions where I feel jealous towards him and worse think that I deserve his success but I know I don't
FleaOfTheChill
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I've been jealous of my SO. It wasn't work related, it was social related.
It's ridiculous too. I'm not as social, and I don't want to be as social as the SO. I'm happy for them and encourage them to go out and have fun. I know it's healthy in relationships to have outside friends and interests. most of the time I don't want that for myself though. I want to stay home when I have free time and not go be with people. I want my down time so I can relax, decompress, and/or take care of household tasks at my own pace. I also need it or I'd go nuts. But sometimes I get in a funk and I get jealous that they have these friends and out times I don't have.
I should clarify, the SO isn't some kind of jerk who leaves me alone all the time. the two of us go out either together, just the two of us, or hang with their friends.
I feel like a jerk when I do that, but still, I do it sometimes.
nick007
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nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,621
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
I'm not jealous of my husband, but long, long ago I had an ex boyfriend who I was extremely jealous of. He was everything I wanted to be and wasn't. He had a great personality and amazing social skills and everyone loved him. I struggled socially and a lot of people didn't like me. He was professionally successful and stuck with one job. I kept quitting jobs. He had a loving, accepting family that adored him. My family was dysfunctional and kind of abusive. He had a great social life. I was a hermit. You get the picture. The thing was, I didn't even know I was jealous of him until I sat down and tried to figure out why our relationship went to hell and why I was so awful to him and then I saw that it was jealousy at the root of most of it. Well, that and the pressure of always feeling I had to be more like him and try to fit in. I didn't resent his social and professional success. I admired him for it, but the jealousy I had and the longing to be the person he was was absolutely toxic.
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