Personality Training

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One of the problems many Aspies face in their lives is a lack of friends. Some people automatically attract others, whereas many Aspies have the exact opposite effect. So maybe there are some secrets to be learned.

I read an article that talked about The Tricks to Make Yourself Effortlessly Charming

Alexander Todorov, a professor of psychology at Princeton, has shown that people can make judgements about someone’s likeability, trustworthiness and competence after seeing their face for less than a tenth of a second.

1. Put on a Happy Face
“People will perceive a smiling face as more trustworthy, warmer and sociable,” explains Todorov.

2. Channel Your Charm
It’s possible to train yourself to be charming. Johnny Carson (the late host of The Tonight Show) was an extreme introvert who trained himself to be an extrovert,” says Schafer. “As soon as the show was over he curled up and went home, but on TV he was famous for smiling and laughing and making jokes.”

3. Raising Eyebrows
“Our brains are always surveying the environment for friend or foe signals,” he says. “The three major things we do when we approach somebody that signal we are not a threat are: an eyebrow flash - a quick up and down movement of the eyebrow that lasts about a sixth of a second - a slight head tilt, and a smile.”



4. Find Common Ground
Charming people are often skilled at finding common ground with the people they interact with. “When you disagree, try to really listen to the other person rather than setting up your response, which research shows smart people tend to do,” she says. “It might seem like you totally disagree but on closer examination you might agree on a few things, at least in principle.”

5. Watch Their Body
Another key to likeability is to mirror the body language of the other person. When people are conversing and they begin to mirror one another, it is a signal that have a good rapport, says Schafer.

One word of caution re: body language. Don't mimic someone else's body language too much; it could make them feel self-conscious or as if they're being mocked. I think it's better to think of your body language as "blending" with theirs.

Several years ago, I remember reading an article about waiters and waitresses. When they came to your table to take an order, they would repeat your order request on purpose. This would establish a rapport between diner and waiter. This simple procedure resulted in a measurable increase in monetary tips.

I just did a quick google search and found it:

Repeat the Customer’s Order

Repeating your customer’s order has a couple of different benefits. It builds trust, since it shows that you’re a great listener (and note-taker). It helps ensure that you actually do understand everything they’re asking of you, since even the best servers will miss some details on occasion.

But the more subtle, psychological effect of parroting back a customer’s order is that people tend to like others who mirror their gestures and speech. When servers repeat orders, even if the order has been written down, customers subconsciously feel that the server is more like them than not. They experience a sense of “sameness” with their servers, resulting in bigger tips.



Source: How to Be a Better Waiter or Waitress and Earn More Tips