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Do we really lack understanding of non-verbal social cues?

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kraftiekortie
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30 Dec 2020, 6:16 am

Yep....many of the studies pertaining to autism do not mention “functioning.” The research tends not to reflect the “spectrum” aspect of autism.

I manifest my “theory of mind” awkwardly, rather than “lack theory of mind.”

Have you read the works of Tony Attwood, Joe?



Joe90
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31 Dec 2020, 12:43 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Yep....many of the studies pertaining to autism do not mention “functioning.” The research tends not to reflect the “spectrum” aspect of autism.

I manifest my “theory of mind” awkwardly, rather than “lack theory of mind.”

Have you read the works of Tony Attwood, Joe?


I think I read some of his but I mostly read about Temple Grandin, who (pardon me if this sounds a bit rude) I am still not sure if she's a male or female but I think she's female.


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idntonkw
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31 Dec 2020, 1:05 am

Joe90 wrote:
Do people with HFA or AS really lack understanding of social cues like we claim that we do? Often on WP people put in their posts "...I could tell by their face/tone of voice that they meant X/feeling Y..." So I don't think it's impossible for every autistic person to be able to automatically connect socially.

Tl;Dr - I've bolded the bits I don't want readers to miss.

Today at work in a meeting the boss was updating the safety awareness, and there is one worker (let's just call her Jane) who has been known to be unaware of safety. While Jane wasn't looking, the supervisor quietly said to the boss, "there is one person here who needs extra training for safety" and they glanced at Jane. OK, you might say that was easy to pick up on because I already knew who they were talking about BUT the hidden (non-verbal) social cue I picked up on without thinking was "don't say out loud the name of whom we are talking about".
Some people with autism might have been honest and said out loud, "ah, yes, Jane here does often put herself in danger without realising, maybe give her extra safety training?" Although that sounds like the right thing to do, I automatically knew that saying that out loud would probably humiliate Jane or make Jane feel embarrassed or whatever, and also I could tell by the body language of the boss and the supervisor that it's best to stay quiet (although they weren't aiming any hints at me, I just picked up the hints). But I gave them a slight smile to indicate that I was thinking what they were thinking.
So I was emotionally influenced by a prediction of Jane's feelings and the body language of the supervisor and the boss that made me subconsciously make a decision to stay quiet and go along with it.

And this isn't an isolated incident of me picking up on non-verbal cues, it actually happens a lot.

It does feel natural to me.
Ps. I understand that it's tempting but please refrain from giving sarcastic answers like "all right, you're not autistic, happy now?!", because I'm not trying to say that.


AS may be aware of non verbal cues in familiar situations, but they won't recognize them in new or more complex situations I think and not on the fly like NTs do.



Jakki
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31 Dec 2020, 2:04 pm

This seems kinda familiar to me too .


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01 Jan 2021, 5:42 pm

Here's one thought. What if autistic people, or at least some of them, ar actually socially HYPERsensitive? So they become afraid of people and interactions at such early age, that they don't even remember when and how it happened. This leads to blocking out people, and as a result, not developing social skills properly and delaying that development into much later age.

Not sure if that is the explanation. It's one guess based on my personal experience. I've always been afraid of people, and still am. Somehow I've blocked out all emotional interactions with people for a looong time.

Evidence? There might be some, albeit non-scientific. Some people, many of those close to me, accused me of being "immoral", "coldhearted", "insensitive", "withdrawn", "incapable of love" and even "cruel". Yet a few others, some people that I didn't even know, said exactly the opposite, by just taking one look at me, in a fairly neutral situation... One random guest said "why are you so afraid of people"? I was just eating my spaghetti and was shocked when I heard that. The other one, a doctor whom I was visiting because of some minor health reason, said "you are too sensitive." To my surprised look she explained, "your eyes give it away." My conclusion: I managed to build a wall that works with ALMOST all NTs. But not all. Some of them do have exceptional people reading skills and they can see past all the walls.