Is there such a thing as rebound friendships?

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Hi:
I was wondering if there is ever such a thing after close friends go their separate ways. I know about rebound dating relationships.

I am wondering because after a close friend and I fell out years ago, I met that married couple at my last congregation which worked for a while but did not last due to the relation being unhealthy and not really being a good fit for either party. During that time, I tried to make things work with them by replacing this ex friend with the wife.


Has anyone else been in something similar?

Yes, I believe there is such a thing. I think it happened to me. I lost who I thought was a good friend when she moved away. After she moved, she became distant and unavailable. I made a new friend right away, but that friendship didn't work out either.

Long before I met this former friend who I talked about above, I had attempted to live with a friend and her family for a month which did not work out. During that time, I learned this friend and her mom were extremely toxic next to her mom deciding to throw me out for silly reasons. So I moved back in with my parents for a few months until I found a new place to live and a new job.

During that time, I rode the bus around town and met a woman my name who also had mild disabilities. Now that situation was a rebound friendship for sure.
1. She was really not that interested in me
2. We were oil and water

In my experience, number of friends decreases with age. I have no clue how to keep friends. I have no friends now apart from spouse. You mentioned congregation - that is where it is most difficult. I have learned not to have any expectations in this regard in a congregation.

Rebound pets, rebound friendships, rebound BFWBs, rebound marriages ... yeah, they happen.

I guess if you find yourself in a position where you are without friends at the time
as do others you may meet

friendship of this kind can be a survival type
as having someone to talk with and be friends with
helps reduce loneliness, as well as helping us to talk through things

so such friendships can be really beneficial

Personally I stay open to opportunities while at the same time
stay aware of how people are treating me

if they start to become abusive or start to take too much
which in some cases is what happens when a person you have befriended
has healed their wounds

they no longer are on their best behaviour as they no longer are so desperate
i guess that isn't that different to people who abuse people in romantic relationships

they may be all super nice when you first meet them
and perhaps even for the first months

until they eventually get cocky, thinking that their new friend is stupid for being so nice
so someone that they identify as someone to use and abuse

i have been through such types of associations many times
i am getting better at identifying this type of thing
as well as better at sorting out such problems

but you have to be strong and focused
and aware what type of people are toxic to you and damaging
and once identified
time to withdraw from their company

Ironically, i often get caught in a trap of helping others
as i have a strong moral value set and a kind nature underneath my ASD

this does however make a person vulnerable to attracting abusers
who will use and abuse and set you up
then when you reject them for their abuse
they will tell the entire world that your the "bad egg"
instead of telling the truth

sociopaths manipulators are good at conning people into taking their side of the story
which is often the opposite to what ASD people are like

but there ya go

Personally i don't rule out friendship with anyone
but as the old saying goes
tread quietly and carry a big stick
through life

I think it's possible to have rebound friendships. I've probably had some before, where I lost a friend and then met someone and quickened being "friends" with them to sort of replace that relationship. Unsurprisingly, usually friendships like that don't last...

And maybe the lesson is to take it in medium steps?

Perhaps at times medium-large, but still medium.

Autistic people are notorious for putting all their relationship needs into one basket. So when one relationship dies, it leaves a huge void. Nature abhors a vacuum, so we try to make the next potential relationship fit the pattern of a previous one.

A more successful way to live is to have at least half a dozen friends and spread your time and your social needs out among them. Then if one person passes out of the picture, you have elsewhere to turn.

Rebound relationships of any sort are based not on true affinity but more like availability. That's an unfortunate way to start anything. It's also not very fair to the person who is the placeholder relationship.