People dont seem to want to be my friend

Post Reply New Topic

People dont seem to want to be my friend. I'm sad about it.

I'm 20. I have Autism and Schizophrenia. I think that's the reason I have no friends. In school I barely ever talked and now I mostly stay at home. When I go out people seem to think I'm weird. I get stared at a lot. I wonder if it's because of my appearance.

I want friends but its hard to find people with the same interests and who are patient and understanding. I had a friend who used to get mad at me for not looking them in the eye. Eye contact is extremely hard for me. I'm working on it though.

Even before we learn to talk, humans learn the language of the eyes. They use the eyes to quickly determine if another person is a friend or a threat. For some reason most Aspies missed this vital step.

There is a way around this. It is to deprive the other person from looking into our eyes. One common method is to wear blue tinted mirror glasses. Here is an example.

Hello-

One thing I’ve learned (others may disagree) is that people feel like you’re not listening to them or paying attention if you’re not looking at them. When the situation calls for it, I will just say “hey I’m listening. I have autism so it’s hard for me to look people in the eye.” It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It gives me personally the heebie jeebies but everyone in my life who knows me is used to it. However I also have very few friends and I wish it was easier to make them. I made a promise that I would try new things (like join an in person book club) when the pandemic allows me to. I have also joined the Facebook group “I’m autistic, not a puzzle as well as the website Nextdoor in hopes of making new connections. Don’t give up.

Naturally.


Autistic people are makes likely to give a poor first impression . You are statistically undesirable and you don't even have to open your mouth.

That's what the science says on implicit bias and the resulting explicit bias associated.

So learn to blend in , or provide more utility.

the problem with isolating yourself due to having not many people to communicate with
is that the more you do it

the more strange going out will feel
which in some cases can add extra obstacles to you meeting with people

in some countries there are befriending services
where people who have found themselves isolated can get someone to befriend them
and help them get back into doing normal things

they kind of work like mates who give you moral support who are level headed who are able to
sort your head out for you and to help you cope

worth considering

also in some areas you will find drop in services and social clubs that are aimed at helping people with ASD and other ailments to socialize

again these are often frequented by people who are have the similar issues
but also some support workers and perhaps one or two good nature'ed NT's who can help you connect

in some countries (such as in some areas of OZ) there are even good people who try and help people date
so could all be good

cheers