proud of my son

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i was worrying about what my son was going to do when he left school as he has a few disreputable friends and very little interest in anything but he started college last monday and the decent friends he has also started college and he is doing a engineering course because he likes cars so thats good he is showing an interest in something and hopefully when he turns 17 he will want to take up driving lessons and get a license

i just hopes he keeps this up..he seems happy and im glad hes hanging around with better boys and showing interest in something,also he will probably make friends with others in his engineering classes too and hopefully might meet a nice girl
(id like to see him with a girlfriend as hes a good looking boy just a bit shy around girls)

I'm glad your son is doing well.

Awe, always nice to hear of kids finding their "tribes." It makes a big difference for ASD children, in particular, when they can make friends that share interests and have compatible goals. My son doesn't hold onto a lot of people, but he has small groups of extremely good friends from both high school and college. Those friendships look quite different than you and I would expect, but he always make an effort with them. That's how I rate his friendships: if he makes any effort.

Be aware that young adulthood tends to be another rough patch for those with ASD. My son graduated from college two years ago and does not yet have a career job. He does work, and he loves his job, but it isn't something he will ever be able to live off. His college friends do help with networking, but there are many ASD related traits that keep getting in the way of him achieving his goals. I know from years on this forum that most eventually work through the roadblocks and get where they need to, but it can be slow and frustrating. Just be ready with support and patience should that happen.

As for girlfriends, there is likely to be quite a bit he will have to learn before he can be successful in a relationship. Still, making relationship mistakes is part of youth and learning. I used to find it so hilarious to watch my son in large groups when he was 17. There were always girls flirting with him, and he was always completely oblivious to it. At 24, my son is with his third girlfriend, but as he tells it he has never asked anyone out. Each time the girl broke the ice. My son's current partner is also ASD, and they have been living together for more than a year. I think the biggest lesson my son learned about being ASD in relationships is that you have to talk about everything and anything in black and white, and your partner has to do the same. It's tough because gestures are such a large part of western dating rituals, but our kids will never pick up on them or think of giving them. So, directness is required. Best if he tells any potential dates that right away before they get upset by all the gestures he doesn't make and all the ones he doesn't notice.

It feels great when our kids reach the age we can tell a corner has been turned and we finally see a smoother road ahead of them, doesn't it?

thank you...my son isnt on the spectrum by the way