The difference between queer and gay?

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I'm still trying to work it out even though I have read multiple definitions of both. 'Queer' is a hugely VAGUE term, where as 'gay' is precise. Why did we have to start using the word queer? I was starting to get used to thinking of myself as gay/lesbian and now - am I queer as well? Does queer cover everything? Is queer a subsection of being gay? Will a man understand that I'm gay if I say I'm queer? Are all bisexuals queer? These are just some of the questions that hover around my subconscious when trying to work out the difference.

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Queer covers a lot of ground. It is more than just “gay.” It seems to mean anything other than heterosexual cisgender. You can be bisexual and be queer. You can be asexual and be queer.

Isn't the term queer pejorative originally?

Queer originally just meant odd or strange.

Then in the pre World War Two Twentieth Century it was a perjorative among men to mean "an effeminent man", who you would assume was also homosexual.

"Those Latin lovers you see on the movie screen...theyre all really a bunch of queers".

Then in the Sixties and Seventies it became both old fashioned, and rude, and un pc to use "queer" that way ( and the even older original meaning of 'strange' had dropped out completely from the language). And it was replaced by the word "gay".

But now in the 21st century gay men have "reclaimed" the word "queer" the way Black guys use the N-word. Reclaim it as a word for themselves.

But also some in the LBGT community use "queer" to mean some specific thing thats distinct from gay. Or they tack it on to things to make new words like "genderqueer", or use the term "kweer". But I am not up on all of that.

So...call yourself "queer" (like rappers call themselves the N word) if you feel like it. Otherwise dont worry about it, The he most trendy LBGT people cant seem to agree on what it means anymore.

I used to hear “queer” both as in “odd” and as in “gay-homosexual” during the 70s.

Up until the 70s, “gay” meant “happy.”

Queer is a much broader term than gay.

The term queer that literally means odd, strange, bizarre has historically been used as a derogatory term primarily against gay men.

Some or rather many people in the LGBT community nowadays have decided to “reclaim” the term that has historically been wielded against them and identify with it and call themselves queer.

Since the term is used by people who fall under any letter in LGBT its meaning is ambiguous and communicates nothing other than that this person is not heterosexual and/or cissexual. Thus, the term itself is largely inefficient in communication and vague.

I am bisexual myself but I would never refer to myself as queer and I do not identify with the term. In fact I dislike it and it’s connotations and ostracizing nature. There is nothing “queer” about my life. My dating life and relationships don’t differ from straight ones except for the gender constellation that might be different, that’s all.

You are not necessarily “queer” if you don’t identify with it and don’t see yourself as such. You don’t have to use this term for yourself either. You can just continue to refer to yourself as a lesbian.

I've heard "queer" used merely as meaning something odd or unusual.

Nowadays, of course, it basically means a non-conventionally heterosexual, non-cis person. I don't believe a demisexual heterosexual would be "queer," though. An asexual person would be considered "queer."

A lot of terms for LGBT people were used pejoratively, it is not like queer was the only one, but it has been used pretty broadly to encompass those of LGBT+. My take on queer identity and identifying as queer is an ownership of the category of what is considered not normal (hetero and cis). It removes the power of other people trying to sling it as an insult, and can act as a shared identity for those not part of "normal", and for those who might be unsure of what identity might fit them.

If people don't want to identity as such, fine then, there is some history of the word that might make some people feel uncomfortable. It is still then probably not a good idea not to berate people who do.

If there even is one, depending on whom you ask. It's a very complex, and to some people, controversial word.

Which is stage and wave one right there. Figuring out, the different contexts of it. There are to my knowledge, two general definitions of "queer", in a positive sense.

The first definition is, someone will say "queer", is a more umbrella term, meaning they aren't straight. For example, I myself am a gay black autistic man, but I could say, "This business discriminates against 'queer' people." Meaning, that unless you appear as straight, and don't appear/identify as gay, trans, gender non conforming, gender neutral, gender non binary, or androgynous, etc., the business won't serve you as a customer. So in that particular example. "queer", can be used as an umbrella term, to include gay people, as well as other LGBTQ people as well.

The second definition, and another definition of "queer", could be someone that wishes to remain ambiguous on their sexuality and/or identity. They may want to simplify, or not like, or don't like the labels, "gay", "bisexual", "gender non conforming", "gender neutral", "gender non binary", etc. or in addition, or not limited to, and/or, they might be exploring who they are, and what attracts them, sexual/gender wise, so in other words, "queer" is used as a term or gateway or category. So yeah.

To avoid politics, and confusion and misconception. I'm neutral, to both definitions, and whoever wants to flip, or use whichever definition, whether definition one, or two, or both definitions of "queer", is fine by me.

I use the term "queer", myself, but I mostly use it, in the context of, definition one. Definition two, I don't necessarily use, as I'm a gay man, and I label myself as gay, but I also consider myself a gender non conforming man; as I have a flamboyant/feminine personality, I have a high voice, and I'm soft spoken, and more emotional at times. I have poofy curly hair, I kinda am vibrant like that, and I have my own sense of style. Even though I'm just a gay man. So yeah.

There are also two more definitions of the word queer, being used in an adverse, or possibly, negative connotation.

Also, in a literal, vocabulary sense, "queer", has a rare used meaning of something being strange, odd, or peculiar. "Why is this clock broken, that's queer." etc. This definition is rarely used nowadays, and it is not necessarily related to the subject at hand on this thread, but could be related to a fourth definition of the word the "queer", being an insult definition, which has been reclaimed in a way, which I'll talk about in a minute.

Lastly, I want to add, there is a fraction of people, (people within the alternative sexuality/gender community), who do not like the word or term "queer". This is a recent controversial, hot button thing so yeah. The word "queer", has a fourth, sort of now reclaimed, insulting definition, related to the third "that's odd", definition, as I mentioned a tad bit earlier. As "queer", was used as an insult, to highlight how someone gay or feminine or flamboyant, is odd or strange etc. Some people feel this insult is still in effect, and refuse to use this word. If you come across someone who does not like the term "Queer" for whichever reason, respect that, and don't say that around that person, regardless if you are comfortable with the word and term of "queer", respect the other persons virtues and values.

That's about it. Thank you.

Queer, in addition to being a reclaimed slur, is rooted in LGBT liberation social movements and historically had leftist associations and less ‘normative’ connotations. It is now is broadly used as an umbrella term. It can also be used as a verb (in academia)— to ‘queer’ a text, for example.

For context, I have a postgraduate degree in comparative-historical sociology and gender studies; my master’s thesis was on this topic. I’m also trans and bisexual and self-identify as queer.

In my experience, until rather recently, there really was no such thing as a "queer" woman, unless she acted "queer" (weird, odd).

A "queer," until like the 80s, was a male homosexual, not necessarily effeminate, but definitely not masculine. A "queer" was a blatantly gay person, but not necessarily flamboyant.

"Queer," as an adjective, meant "weird, odd," in sort of a neutral but uncanny sense. Sort of neutral, leaning towards negative at times. But not extremely negative.

Something weird that was not easily understood was considered "queer." Something which gave one a vague feeling of unease.