Anyone with 'just right' OCD?

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So the fact that I quite frequently go over things in my head after social interactions/meeting psychologists to make sure I haven't faked AS traits is caused by OCD and not Social Anxiety Disorder? I go over things which could be caused by social anxiety as well (things I said during a social event, if I made a fool of myself, if people thought I was weird etc etc) but that's different I guess. I hope it's ok I ask so many questions. It's just that no one's properly explained these things to me.

The thing is, that intrusive thought causes me a lot of anxiety from time to time but not constantly. I do the small 'just right' things very often though. I have no idea why and it doesn't cause me that much anxiety. It's more like an inner itch/an urge which I need to take care of. It bothers me if I don't but it doesn't cause me great anxiety. Is that common?



I never really think I fake anything but Asperger's. I don't know why I don't think I'm faking my anxiety disorders. I'm sure I've got them. Except OCD that is but if you're telling me the fear of faking and the fear of lying about it is OCD then the diagnosis might be correct after all.

I also never thought I'm faking my depression or my trauma or so, because I guess they are feelings and nearly impossible to fake, but ASD and OCD are more behavioural and so there is a possibility. I guess that's why it's like that, also lying is behavioural.

I think I fake even my physical conditions that have been diagnosed and confirmed by multiple doctors. Hell, I pretty much can't say anything about myself without doubting it, but I've got this problem pretty badly.

Every time I have a moment when I don't feel as anxious as usual (which is rare) and every time I do alright in a social situation (not as rare but still unusual) I think I've probably imagined all the problems I've had my whole life. So then I get anxious again. Is it like that for you as well?

Yes. Not to mention the crippling sense of guilt that washes over me on the whole thing.
I can just be sitting there and suddenly I think:
"I made eye contact. I must be faking autism, I've been manipulating everyone around me for years. I am the single worst person in the world. I should go kill myself right now."
or
"I'm feeling good today. I must be faking my heart problem. I'm taking medication away from those who need it. I'm addicted to my heart meds. I'm a terrible person with no willpower who aimlessly fakes her heart condition. I probably rigged those tests they did." etc etc.

I would point out that I don't have GAD, so my problems are very Tourette's/OCD-specific.

This. Definitely this. I doubt myself a whole lot.



I still don't really know what's GAD or social anxiety and what's OCD (except I now know the intrusive thoughts about faking and/or lying are probably OCD). Well, I can guess in most cases but it's still very confusing. I don't like that because it means I can't categorise it and make sense of it. Do you know what I mean?

I'm going to agree with what some others have said and say that what you have with the weird-feeling-and-then-touching sounds like it might be Tourettic OCD, and yes, you can have TOCD without having Tourette's. OCD and tics can have kind of a weird overlap sometimes where it's hard to tell which it is, but it's not impossible to figure out with some analysis.

It might be possible to have OCD, Tourette's, AND Tourettic OCD. Wouldn't that be a fun combination?

"Just right" OCD is more about slowness, perfectionism, ordering/arranging, symmetry and "evening up" which could be what you're describing... "Just right" OCD is a lot like obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, I think. But if the "weird feeling" you get is a physical feeling and not a thought type of feeling, then I'd say it's more tic-like.

Although the worrying about lying and faking Asperger's syndrome sounds like an OCD-type fear to me.

What if I do the compulsions to create order? What if I somehow feel compelled to do all the 'just right' compulsions to create order since everything else in my life is utter chaos? Would that still be considered OCD?

Excessive seeking of reassurance is a sign of OCD.

Sorry.

It's not a problem, I was just pointing out that your behavior is very typical of OCD.

I do the exact same thing to the point where I went to work with a concussion because I was convinced that I was just blowing it out of proportion and trying to make myself feel bad enough to take a sick day from work. I ended up blanking out on what I was supposed to do, where I was, and my co-worker's names.

It is true that excessive reassurance-seeking is a sign of OCD. Definitely. I have suffered from that BIG-TIME.

But, that being said, there is a difference between obsessive-compulsive disorder and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder... if you're doing things more out of a general need for order and perfection, that is more likely obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, I think.

There's still the question of what that "weird feeling" is exactly. Is it a thought/fear, or physical feeling? Just before I have to do my breathing tic, I get an uncomfortable feeling in my lungs/diaphragm area -- like a kind of restlessness. This is different from when I seek reassurance about a relationship fear, asking my husband about the same thing for hours on end... that is because of an obsessive thought, not a physical feeling.

Sometimes I do experience a feeling of fear that I will do something (like drop my 15-month-old son)... and I might do something like touch something to make sure somehow in my mind, with twisted OCD logic, that I won't do it. Like if I feel afraid of dropping the baby then touching my hand to the wall or touching his face might help me reassure that I still have control over my hands or something. But because it's a reaction to a fearful thought, I think it would still be in the OCD category, or perhaps Tourettic OCD at the very farthest stretch.

In some ways, it's pointless to distinguish too closely between these things... I mean, it's good to think about it, analyze it, and good to know... but sometimes these distinctions get to be very tiny and hard to make... and the question should always ultimately be: "How much are these things interfering with your life? What do you NEED to do about it?" rather than "What exactly do I have when I do this or that?" That's not to say diagnosis isn't important, and that you should never be critical of your therapist or never have a discussion about what you have, or even switch therapists if you're uncomfortable enough... but that what you have isn't always as important as what you do about it... if that makes sense.

Personally I feel that one day Tourette's and OCD might even be considered different manifestations of the same disorder, and there are others who feel this way too. In people with TS, relatives are EQUALLY likely to have EITHER TS or OCD, but there's still a lot more research that needs to be done on the genetics before we know for sure all that is going on.

Yeah, I think I have a bit of a problem with that. Not so much "in real life" (though it happens) but a lot on the internet. It's mostly about researching things and wanting to know people's opinions about the things I research. Do you know what I mean?



I'm not sure. I think the weird feeling I get in/on my nose and in my fingers/hands are feelings. Not sure what I feel but there's no reason for me to feel what I feel. There's no thought behind it. Does that make sense? Other things, however, are both thoughts and feelings. I for example get the feeling of being uneven when for example stepping on certain things or not getting water on both hands etc. Then I feel uneven and my brain tells me I'm uneven and that I need to fix it. That I need to even it out. So I do.



That does make sense, yes. I don't know why but diagnoses are very important to me. I mean, it's very important for me to know exactly what it is that cause my problems. I think that's because I've lived with loads of questions and uncertainty when it comes to myself and the way I function and I just want to be able to categorise things. I want answers. I want to be able to say to myself that "you're not really liar. That's OCD" and so on. I want to know everything. The specifics of it all. Do you know what I mean? It's a bit difficult to explain.

I can't write a lot (bad day) but I need to let you know that all you are describing is what I felt a lot...I've had OCD since I was 8, I'm 25 now. The doing it till it feels write, the constant worrying and analysing over whether I've faked my Asperger's (this has been a BIG one recently), the compulsion to touch things and keep on till it's felt right...a lot of those things, compleatly relate. x

I love finding these old threads. My search thought was “do you feed or starve your ocd?”

Long time ago before I had a clue of asd/alexithymia/misophonia/bap, I decided to enjoy my ocd. I would take one and feed it, this would keep the world in the correct order. My egg carton was always filled symmetrical, have a pattern but never were the eggs removed in the same order. I never thought about it much, I just enjoyed it as it felt good when making food with the chicken butt nuggets. It never became a chore or something that was begrudged. It even felt good those few times, I didn’t keep the world in the correct order on purpose. Is it a game or am I God or both things can be true or what if we are all God and our ocd is correlated to good and evil.

Then I find these threads and realize other people’s lives are seriously affected by ocd while I just enjoyed mine.