Am I the only Aspie out there who belevies in a God?

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I'm an atheist, and grew up in a secular home. Learning about religion in school felt like being forced to accept the delusions of a schizophrenic. Still does.
Society should be 100% secular. Religious views are people's personal problems private life, and should not impact society at large at all,

I don't believe in any fairytale, whether it's called religion, conspiracy, aliens, new age, anti-vaxx, or any other mumbo-jumbo

There were a fair number of people in my childhood who used my gullibility to their own advantage, and religion was just one conveniently codified avenue for this. I am better able to be and protect myself without it. Not to mention, it frees up a TON of time for more enjoyable activities.

I do not think that I am capable of faith. Or, to be precise, believe in something.

This is not limited to gods, spirituality and the likes. It is truly about everything.

Like, I do not believe that my wife loves me. I have strong evidence supporting the case that she does, but seeing that I cannot objectively test it in any way, it is still one of two possible outcomes. But yeah, it is leaning towards love much stronger than not and her loving me is way more probable. So I do accept that it is most likely true. But if you would tell me now that my neighbour loves me, I would simply reject this statement as false because there is no evidence of it _at all_.

Thing that can be tested, replicated, can be predicted, make logical sense - I accept them to be true. Like, the way mathematics work or biochemical process of photosynthesis.

Things that are somewhat probable as some evidence backs them up, but it is like we are missing some puzzle pieces, I accept as probable hypothesis, kind of best knowledge we have at the moment (i.e. latest explanations of the reason why there's imbalance between matter and anti-matter).

But things that cannot be tested, weren't tested, cannot be replicated and verified using scientific methods and there's no evidence to support their claims - I reject as made-up fantasy. This applies to many things outside religion, even psychology, which I do not consider to be science, because it is way too fragmented, with teachings of several schools contradicting each other, the data is gathered in a non-scientific way and results aren't replicable. For me, a psychologist is only a little more trustworthy than any priest and only because their claims are a result of direct observation of real occurrences.

Furthermore, I am a rational mind which have experienced completely irrational things due to how my brain is wired. Temporal lobe epilepsy has wreaked havoc in my head for 6 years until I got diagnosed and during that time, I had partial seizures which gave effects that can be easily mistaken with religious/spiritual experiences.

But I was faithless way before these happened, so I knew that there's nothing metaphysical to them - that it's just something is going on with my neurons. It took me 6 years to get this diagnosed, only because my MRI scans and electroencephalograms were fine - the latter of which was true because my epilepsy is not photo-inductive. Doctors have said that these occurrences are most likely migraine auras, but without a solid evidence and my symptoms getting worse over time, I have not believed them.

Finally, I've found a doctor who specialises in this field and with her help I got diagnosis - done testing with EEG again, this time after 36 hours sleep depravation to induce a seizure state (my seizures could last for a whole day easily at this point) and it clearly showed abnormal activity in lateral temporal lobe area. I got medication which stopped the seizures. Furthermore, I've made a mistake once and forgot to take a dose before leaving home, didn't had the pills on me and was away for a few hours. My sickness has started to do its thing.

So yeah, I know that I have TLE, because there's a definite proof and the results are replicable. If my seiures would be "spiritual" experiences, a mere medication wouldn't be able to stop them, right? Or can chemical compounds keep deites or some other divine power at bay?

By the way, I look down upon people who take drugs and claim to have spiritual experiences after that. No, fool, you haven't had any epiphany or close encounter with god, you've made a mess of your brain biochemistry willingly and experienced the consequences. These are nothing but a glitch in your mind (software) introduced via malfunction of neurons (hardware).

There is absolutely zero evidence pointing towards anything spiritual. There are no occurrences which do not have a rational explanation - even if there were some in the past, it was only because of limited knowledge of past generations. But eventually, one by one, all of those get explained. There was a time when people couldn't explain where seasons come from and thought that these are work of gods battling against each other, for example.

Actually, I find an act of believing in something repulsive. Faith requires throwing away rational thinking and scepticism for a blind devotion to an idea without any solid facts to back it up. It is downgrading yourself from an entity perceiving the world using logic to an idiot who takes pride in his own ignorance.

I do not even fear death. It is impossible to experience the state when your mind does not exist. What happens after death doesn't concern you because you no longer exist as a person. It is the same as before you've gained a consciousness and started to develop persona and accumulate memories some time after you've been birth. I do not recall any suffering, sadness, worries or anything for that matter, from aeons before I was born.

I am just a small bubble in ocean of eternal nothingness, formed in an instant only to burs without a trace after a while.

As for idea of gods - I gave it a pros and cons analysis based on my observations of reality and the apparent characteristics of gods: omnipotence and omniscience. I came to a conclusion that if world is a creation of any god(s), it would be in humanity's best interest to reject and (if possible) kill such being(s).