Ran into my ex today, observed a strange behaviour

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The divorce occurred during a time when a (soon to be ex-) wife who accused her (soon to be ex-) husband of rape could be laughed out of court.

Even back then, I was demanding evidence for her every accusation. Since there was never any evidence for her to provide, she resorted to character assassination — rumors, innuendoes, and snide comments.

Just like the trolls on this website.

I must say, observing the interactions between users of this forum is fascinating. I've been observing NT-NT ones so much, but never had any chance of seeing some AS-AS "action". It is like a whole new field to research

Also, I've never realised how diverse and quite often irrational people with AS are - before joining this forum I've read a lot, but for example never encountered a solid descriptions of AS overlapping with other conditions. Even when it comes to people like Joe90 - it is the first case I've ever heard of when it comes to AS person being so highly emotional and sensitive. It is like experiencing a contact with a whole different universe I am used to live in - yes, through text, but still. And even trolls here troll in a different way to their NT counterparts

I will never understand how someone who breaks off a relationship with a long rant that includes every imaginable insult could ever expect to maintain friendly relations with their ex later.

Ugh.... Not everyone is like this, but yes, alas, there are indeed some truly nasty vengeful people out there. I'm sorry to hear that your ex was like this.


How necessary this is depends on the individuals, their personalities, and the circumstances under which they broke up.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 28 Feb 2022, 4:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

It would depend on what she said. If she were to publicly accuse you of a crime, that might frighten off some prospective employers.

Also, this probably varies by country, but, here in the U.S.A. at least, many prospective employers will be scared off by anything which implies that you are anything less than 100% competent, 100% conscientious, and 100% lovable, 100% of the time. Perhaps this is less so in Poland?


I'm glad to hear there was no danger.


I'm not religious, but I do see conflict resolution as a virtue, where feasible. I don't necessarily favor "forgiveness, no matter what," though.


I agree that this would have been better.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 28 Feb 2022, 4:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

Not everyone breaks up in such a nasty way, in the first place.

In any case, a restoration of at least a distant friendship is desirable if, for example, there are children involved, or if the ex-partners are both still members of some group (e.g. a church) that is important to them both.

Also, even without such ongoing circumstances, it seems to me that when any longterm relationship breaks up, there are always some loose ends that need to be tied up. It would be desirable for this to be done in a civil manner if possible.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 28 Feb 2022, 4:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

Message board forums, like Wrong Planet, are also very different from other online venues, such as the major social media platforms, in terms of the kinds of interaction they foster.

Have you participated on other message board forums? If so, how have the interactions there been similar to and different from interactions here on WP?

The Internet forums I've been/am active on tends to be populated by mostly ND people.
It's kind of natural since the forums are usually focused on a specific subject, eg Comics, Boats, Solar Power, etc. And tends to be quite nerdy.
The difference I see with WP is that people in general are more friendly.

/Mats

Yeah, I've participated in few in the past, related to fields of my interests. Here, most discussions are "dry". I mean, even if people have radically opposing views on given subject, they always follow some path of reasoning and logic, although it can be flawed, of course. But I think that these "errors" in understanding something spin from incomplete data and different background. In general, I see more pressure put on ideas exchange and willingness to consider another person's point of view, adapt one's stance with new information. Whereas in case of NT people dominated forums it was mostly sitting in trenches and getting very emotional, to the point that there were people openly in conflicts. And when they did, they attacked their "enemy's" point of view no matter what, even if it was objectively the most probable/reasonable one. Quite often the conversation devolved into throwing insults. Imagine insulting someone over the fact that they've pointed some obvious flaws in design of ...rollerblades, out of all things, just because you are a zealot with a blind faith into genius of person who created brand which released given model, lol. I've seen it.

Then there are people with very different writing styles, much more diversity of those than I've seen on any other message board.