Will having a partner and children make me content with life
?
Having seen my sister (28) with a son with her partner (31) and seeing other people I suspect are in that age group especially people I knew or recognised from school having families of their own does make me feel like someone who hasn't caught up with that milestone and that it feels as though if you haven't reached a stage like that in life then perhaps you'll never do it and it makes me look like the only one even though a part of me knows I'm not but I can't help it sometimes. I don't know if I was to have a partner now and have a child now that it would fulfill contentment in life or that it would make me any more satisfied because it would feel like I'm rushing into a relationship to have a family because I feel that society expects it and that its because of trying to compare life to others as a way to catch up with them and be in the same boat as them.
I was married with one child. I would say yes. My wife emotionally abused me, but it was under the radar for the first few years. When I didn't realise what was going on I felt content.
Then I met someone else, we spent all day together, I felt content then too. Now I'm single it doesn't feel good.
If I were you I would go the mail order bride route, as others have done here. But you need to know red flags.
I always knew I'll be content with having a boyfriend and living with him, even though he likes to drink and gets aggressive sometimes, he's still sober more times than not so I'm very content during those times.
I wouldn't want to be single again. When I was single I kept getting myself involved with intense obsessions with men that got me or them into trouble.
_________________
Female
Partners and children make some people more content
Partners and children make some people less content
Eight billion people in the solar system
They are not all the same
Some partners, domestic violence, or otherwise negative
Nobody is perfect
Some children are not worth the energy it takes to interact with them
Cost benefit analysis
Unsatisfied couples could get divorced
Once you have children, it's for as long as you are both alive
Children require time, cash, and energy
I am 39 and zero children and don't want any
Not everyone has a partner or children
Desperate men often end up blindly marrying a horrible woman and suffering the consequences. Often financially and sometimes even falsely getting accused of abusing her because the woman only wants the money and divorce (plus residency in a developed country if she's a foreigner). What's worse is that the law is on the woman's side.
I know multiple men who got that. As soon as the foreign woman gets the permanent residency here, she changes her attitude and tries to divorce, even falsely accusing the man of violence. Such women only wants the money and permanent residency right from the beginning.
So I would say you should only get married and have children if it happens just naturally without you making too much effort. Desperation will make you blind.
I've always been happy to be single and only been in relationships when it happened naturally. I never lost good judgement because I was never desperate.
nick007
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I never really felt content exactly but the times in my life when I felt happiest were all times I was in a romantic relationship. That's the reason I MAJORLY HATED being single after me & my 1st girlfriend broke up. While that relationship & my 2nd made me very happy in the beginning, things rapidly turned sour partly cuz of my screwed-up mental health. I was NOT in a good place nor capable of making those relationships last. I was very depressed & unstable when my 1st relationship ended but I was about ready to get myself killed &/or others before I got in that relationship. The reason I got in that relationship was because she became my best friend & was the one person I had ever really connected with & related to. Her being there for me as my friend saved my life in a way. I tried to learn from that relationship as well as my 2nd & I'm using that knowledge & experience to be a better person within my current relationship. Overall I am alot happier within my current relationship than when I was single but some of that is because I am not the same exact person I was within my two previous 1s. I am a bit more independent but some(or maybe a lot of that) is because my environment & living situation are very different than when I lived with my parents. I felt trapped living with them & my mom was very critical. I did not have any viable alternative places I could stay instead of living with my parents. Plus even if I had my own place I would not be able to handle living alone so I woulda taken in a woman who needed a place to stay.
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A partner and family will make you feel content only if that is what you actually want and noone can tell you that but yourself.
Start at the beginning. Meet potential partners and see if that makes you happy. You are not obligated to marry someone just because you have been dating them for awhile. There is no master plan. There are plenty of people that take decades until they feel ready to live with a partner. Ulitmately its all a crapshoot if you ask me - good luck.
Sweetleaf
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You shouldn't start a family unless you genuinely want to, it takes a lot to be a parent from what I understand and it's not for everyone. I will say having a partner does make me more content, but having kids would not. We may get a pet cat at some point but yeah neither of us want to raise a child or deal with all the crying babies do.
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We won't go back.
Besides, it is evil to bring a child into the world.
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nick007
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Start at the beginning. Meet potential partners and see if that makes you happy. You are not obligated to marry someone just because you have been dating them for awhile. There is no master plan. There are plenty of people that take decades until they feel ready to live with a partner. Ulitmately its all a crapshoot if you ask me - good luck.
Besides, it is evil to bring a child into the world.
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![Sad :(](./images/smilies/icon_sad.gif)
I never wanted to be a parent. I have enough issues to deal with & I know I am NOT responsible enough to deal with raising a kid. This may sound messed up but I do feel like a parent some with my romantic partners. I'm very protective of romantic partners. Plus my 1st two girlfriends were a lot younger than me & my 1st & current have their own issues they were/are dealing with. I'm sure my current feel like a parent with me sometimes as well. That & having pets is enough for me.
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