Feeling like I'm behind in life

Post Reply New Topic

I do get quite frustrated that even though I work as a sales assistant in a retail business, I haven't got my own independent career for myself like becoming an author, I mean its taken a long while to write a book and yet I keep changing ideas and my mind about it. I seem to envy those people younger than me (31) who are already at the height or an independent career as a business entrepreneur. It makes me think ''How have they got to that stage already ?'' and a part me doesn't even know what I'd want to start a business in and probably wouldn't be a business man.
I also seem to feel like other people are passing me by when I see former school and college ''friends'' on social media starting families and looking like they are in prosperous careers. I also feel like I'm falling behind in terms of relationships as I have only dated one person a few times and still haven't met the right person and seem to think its abnormal up to this point in time having not had sex with someone when it seems that a lot of people have sex with a partner in their late teens and twenties. It frustrates me especially during the pandemic as I am rather nervous even though I've had two doses about having to go back and date someone during this time while the virus is circulating.
I like meeting new people and want to go out with someone again but I think a year or more of having to stay away at home from people because of the virus has made me feel anxious of people I don't know unless I'm behind a screen at work and both wearing masks.

I can intensely understand your feelings of being behind in life - just on another entire level.
I wasn't even capable of graduating from high school because of executive dysfunction I.E. I constantly got lost in hallways, couldn't concentrate on basically anything, was overwhelmed by sights, sounds and smells. So I ended up "dropping out".
My life largely consisted of sitting on the sidelines watching other people reach developmental milestones. Not being able to partake in social rites of passage can really sting, we both understand that - when i'm older I imagine the pain will be much more intense so i'm really sorry to hear about your situation. For reference my diagnoses are schizophrenia spectrum and autism spectrum plus dyscalculia.

You drive and work, which is quite good. Trouble with social stuff should be expected with an ASD and will be one of the most marked aspects of it (if you were social like everyone else, then there's no ASD). You shouldn't be hard on yourself with a disability, one that's specifically a developmental disorder too, so a delay.

Try not to worry about SARS-CoV-2. Seriously.

Most people don't have independent careers. Especially as authors. Not having dated much if at all is a common outcome of autism. People tend to cherry pick certain individuals to compare themselves to, rather than comparing themselves to others who are more like them.