This is OK?

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I didn't want to ask "is this OK?" because I don't want negative feedback or judgement, I just want reassurance and understanding. So if you disagree on this then it's best to just not post at all.

Anyway, I found this little documentary for children of 4-year-olds starting school and just what they do in the classroom and playground as typical children of that age, and I found it interesting.

Then the more I watched it the more I started getting used to all the children's names and I got attached to them. So then I decided to get creative and make cut-outs of each child from the class in their uniforms, then redo each child but sitting down, then redo them again but wearing their coats, and so on, until I have a little collection. It is so enjoyable. And I'm writing each episode of the documentary as stories to go with the little cut-out characters, and I was going to draw some scenes to place the cut-outs on. Will be great for my little 5-year-old niece to play with when she comes round too.

It's become like a project and it's something I like to do in my spare time. I worry in case it's wrong to do it, like people might think I'm some sort of paedophile or something. But I'm NOT. I hate paedophiles and I'm not interested in any children in that way.

Is this OK to do?

Last edited by Joe90 on 01 Jul 2022, 10:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

What you are doing is okay.  Do you remember that you once shared an image some of your cut-outs with me?

I still have it.

Ah, they were the old ones. Same class but I've updated them by drawing them better and with their actual names. I just love this little class.

It's okay.

Yes, it's perfectly okay.

I'd also try to be less defensive about accusations no one's made; even if you were a guy people wouldn't be that quick to assume anything nasty, especially here where special interests and fixations are much more relatable.

I read loads of books about children when I was young, written by adults of course.

Of course it's ok. Absolutely nothing paedo about it, so don't worry!

Nothing to with sex. May have a lot to do with your maternal instinct. But its nothing to be ashamed of.

The thing I'd keep in mind with this - if you're finding a fascination with it your own mind is probably trying to tease apart some sort of puzzle that you still have from youth. Don't push on that too deliberately but you'll probably find that this is something in your own development that you're working through and perhaps - as you've suggested - you're running counterfactuals on with these cutouts.

I know, it's just that some people are so quick to point the finger these days.

I don't think I'll ever have children, but I am broody so I feel this is just my maternal instinct coming out, like someone else pointed out here.

I studied childcare at school and I find child development interesting. No sexual intentions connected to it at all. My sexual intentions have always naturally been aimed at men much older than me. Even if teenage boys make a sexual remark at me it grosses me out.

Nothing wrong about that at all.

If that makes you creepy, then anyone who's ever written fiction involving children is creepy too. And they aren't, so neither are you.

I'm just so addicted to it. Drawing the children, colouring them in with my pens and cutting them out, and although I've done about 300 so far every single one is different. The only thing is I keep spending a fortune on pens because they run out of ink after a while, and the pens of colours I don't use are building up.

But I wish it was my job where I just create more and more cut-out children all day every day. I put on a movie to listen to in the background while I'm doing them. It's rare and difficult for me to get focused on something, but I think this is a way of relaxation and it does work.

I sense they represent an escape from all the crap, Joe.

It is, believe me. Even my boyfriend (the guy who a few people here hate and want me to get away from) understands this and even puts up with the piles of cardboard and cut-outs in the corner of the living-room. He loves my drawings and says I'm really good at it and often offers to buy more pens for me, but I say no because I don't expect him to and I have enough money to buy them myself. But he does sometimes come home with more pens or cardboard for me, or an adult colouring book.

Like I said, it's usually hard for me to focus on stuff but this I can focus on, but not to the point where it becomes problematic. I usually do it at night when it's quiet and my boyfriend is getting his sleep.