I don't know what I have, and I'm beginning to feel like I "imagined" being mentally ill. For most of my life until recently, I don't recall being able to read or understand emotions or social cues with any accuracy. I received a provisional diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder, and I felt like it answered a lot of questions, but then after I turned thirty, I started experiencing intense emotional "flare ups," where I'd perceive emotions so strongly that it impedes my every day functioning to an extent--for example, I have trouble thinking, talking, and forming complete sentences. This led to a nervous breakdown, and I ended up getting committed to a mental institution, where I was also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder.
I'm confused. I know I've had enough trouble throughout my life for my problems not to be imaginary, but I'm frustrated that they can't pin down exactly what I have so that I can better understand it. Communication has always been a struggle for me, to the point that I preferred not to be around people most of my life. At this point, I thought I'd adjusted to it, but it seems like my mind decided to throw me another curve ball.
