Self harm

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I only really self-harmed 1ce in my life. I fell into a psychotic depression when I was 20 over my 1st relationship falling apart. After we broke up I saw her bragging online about how she drank so much that she had to go to the ER & I flipped out & slashed my upper left arm 9x with a construction grade box-cutter blade. It was like my mind was outside of my body while my body did it. I had to go to the ER cuz it was after hours for my GP doc office. I started taking psych meds after that. The scars look nasty but in some ways I almost kinda em these days. That was definitely the lowest point in my life & I tried working on myself in various ways since then & in some ways I've made lots of progress. The scars are a painful reminder from my past of why I need to try & keep my mental state in check & why I need to try my best to make my current relationship work & be supportive of her. My scars are kinda like a tattoo an alcoholic gets when they are very drunk. They wake up after & feel disgusted with themselves & realize they need to give up the booze & their tattoo becomes their reminder of why they need to keep going to the meetings & avoiding bars & such. I hated the person I was then & that is not who I am now, at least NOT who I want to be. I majorly failed my 1st girlfriend & I'll never forgive myself. The best I can realistically do is to try & learn what I can from the experience which I have & now I need to keep applying that knowledge so I can do better in my current relationship & do better for myself. My current girlfriend actually likes those scars but she has various mental issues herself thou never cutting. I try my best to be supportive of her & she thinks I'm doing a good job even if I feel like I'm failing sometimes(or lots of times)

Good for you these days.

Last night, I smacked myself in the head a few times because I missed my stop on the subway, and delayed my arriving home by about 15 minutes.

Probably too much of an extreme reaction....

It was part of my life in college, and how I ultimately got diagnosed. I was lucky the psychologist I went to was knowledgeable. I haven't done it since 2005.

I think what people, and I would include some professionals in this, don't understand is that it's a feeling before the act of self-harm. Often the emphasis is on the release or relief.

I was recommended bio oil for scars. Only my GP has seen all of my scars.

I used to all the time (early/ mid teens), but it garnered more attention than I wanted.

I wasn't doing it for attention, I was doing it to drown out the SPD aspects of my life.

Fortunately I now have alcohol though sometimes I get a craving like "Go on, remember how amazing it felt" sort of like smoking i suppose.

I once put a cigarette out on the back of my hand and held it there as long as I could stand. It really hurt and I have the scar to this day. I don't really remember what mental state lead me to do this, I haven't self-harmed since. That was over 20 years ago.

However recently I've been aware of a desire to be hurt. Like it would be a massive relief if someone just kicked the living s**t out of me. I don't know what that's about.

My daughter does this when she's angry with herself. For example if we need to leave the house and she's having sensory issues which are preventing her getting her socks on or something. I find it really disturbing.

I've never self harmed due to stress etc.
I usually start talking like Hudson out of aliens, when he is doing his game over speech

When I was in little, up until my middle school years, I would self harm myself all the time, even for the tiniest of mistakes. I would usually twist and pull out my hair, bang my head on something hard, or bite my hand. I would usually do this the most. Depending on how angry I was on a scale from 1-10, 10 being what I called "Hulk Angry", I would either bite leaving just teeth marks, or sometimes bite down on my hand super hard and twist until it started to bleed. I don't hurt myself anymore, yet my hands are covered in scars, reminding me of my careless mistakes, and reminding me not to do it again. Years of therapy, medication, and really good friends and loved ones have helped me stop the self harm for good. Just as long as I keep my calm, something like this will never happen again.

Not much until recently.

I've over done it on the painkillers and sleeping pills far too often, and my arm and leg are getting an ever increasing number of scars.

It's been 10 years since I self harmed.

I don't even know why I started doing it. Anxiety, I guess. I would cut and burn my upper right arm and not treat it. I don't know how I didn't get an infection. The very last cut I made needed stitches but I didn't bother seeing any medical person about it. They saw it when I went to hospital but did nothing. It's a very wide scar now. I regret doing all of it and am reminded of it every day. No wearing shirts with no sleeves anymore.

I did the same 20 years ago, because of too much stress, pressure, depression, frustration, etc. all at the same time. I tried to make it stop through pain. The wound doesn't get infected because the heat cauterizes the wound. No pathogens can easily enter your body through that wound.

It doesn't work very well. Better get some medication. That's more efficient.

I self harm a lot and have scars from it. Most of them are in places that can be covered by shorts and a t-shirt, but I have some on my lower arms and legs now. I usually cut myself with a pocket knife that I have or burn myself with a lighter. I've had periods where I've stopped self harming, but I always end up going back to it. Sometimes I feel euphoric/kind of "high" after it, so it's sort of addicting and hard to stop.