Starting a project and needing help

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I'm looking for advice or tips on how to deal with this.

I'm starting a (musical) project with two other people with ASD difficulties.
I find that we are not that good at organizing skills, I think
We are good at many skills but planning and organizing seem difficult for us.

Do we need to ask a fourth person to help us?
What kind of person would that be?
For the musical issues I have teachers to ask.
But what kind of person helps with organization?

Is saying "planning and organizing seem difficult for us" a bit black or white thinking? Could we also have strengths when it comes to these kind of skills even if we have difficulties?

maybe you need a group manager? yes, see if you can enlist help of somebody to be your agent/manager??? many musical groups need somebody to handle details while they concentrate on the music.

And where would I find such a person?

Perhaps you can create a virtual manager. Have meetings, as if a manager was calling them, and ask each other what an organized manager would do. Draw on your observations of others in the business. Make "to-do" lists. Vote on what "BigBoss" or whatever pet name you like would decide, and then act like they are in charge. If it does not work out, you call BigBoss stupid, not the two who voted to try that, and give him another chance. Friends of BigBoss can also ask for tips when they recognize good management in action.

Some of the answer would depend on what objective your group is attempting. Is it simply scheduling for practice, preparing for a performance, or attempting to compose original material.

If you need someone with musical familiarity, posting a notice on a bulletin board at a local music store might get a response.

We are just some friends who started meeting on Saturdays. We happened to have music in common. We just want to play for fun.
But even playing just for fun can be a it difficult.

Is it hard for people with ASD to do things just for fun? I think it can be difficult when people are good at different skills. I mean, what if I wanted to play a specific tune in a specific way because that is easy for me but then the other guys say that they find it difficult?
It is a bit difficult to find that way of playing that is easier for us all.

We could zoom out and talk about bowling or playing darts. Let's say we would choose to go bowling. We could play the game in our own way with no care about being very good at it but...perhaps the environment at the bowling alley could be difficult to deal with for one of us. Perhaps it is too noisy.

What is easy for someone might not be easy for someone else. Then we have ASD which makes skills sets uneven (or whatever it is called).

What kind of person could help us with this?

^^ Perhaps an arbitrator? Certainly not Yoko Ono. Or, to do it yourselves, go through the lists of what you find preferable and look for points where three or two agree. You may have to put the fun of playing together ahead of playing at your very best. Find the lowest common denominator - maybe just keep a beat at first. Exploring what you can do together is a new journey from soloing. Also, remember that good musicians rehearse their acts. Great musicians spend considerable time trying to play things that they are not good at - yet.

arbitrator?

I'm thinking that it is a bit difficult to play with people who are less experienced musicians. I mean, such musicians might not know what they are good and bader at, I guess.
Is that true?

^^ Yes, arbitrator. A professional who deals with disagreements if the parties are not crazy enough about it to sue. There are some talented amateurs, too.
Aye, Dunning-Kruger is an ever-present hazard. If you want to play with someone who isn't talented enough to judge their own talent, you have to come up with some story that keeps them content doing what they can manage. If you listen carefully to one Who record, you can hear Pete Townsend telling off Keith Moon for singing along off key.

I can relate to that. In theory, playing just for fun should be the easiest thing in the world, but certainly in my case I quickly get too serious about it, and I don't get much pleasure out of jamming with people if the result is poor and doesn't look as if it's ever going to get any better, though I often wish I could be content that way.

Maybe it would do some good if you all had a talk about what you want to get out of the sessions. It sounds to me as if you want to do something a bit more serious than just jamming for fun, so if the others are into taking it a step further, that would be a start, and you could then talk about how you're going to get there.

I don't know that it would be feasible to get anybody from outside to help with that. There are certain structures that can be used to encourage meetings to go in a methodical way - you have an agenda and one member facilitates the meeting, to make sure the agenda is adhered to etc. I've been in a few self-managed groups that used such structures, and they seemed to help, but only to a degree. Ultimately it depends on the individuals. Some folks just don't discuss things in a methodical way, so if you've got anybody like that in your group then it might not work. It can also easily happen that you have a meeting but the following jams or whatever just continue as if the meeting had never happened.

I suppose most groups rely on one or two "strong" characters to guide the process. Unfortunately they also tend to get rather domineering and to spoil it for everybody else.

Planning and organizing can be challenging for many people, and there is no need to feel discouraged or to label yourself as "bad" at it. Instead, it can be helpful to focus on your strengths and figure out ways to work with your challenges.

In terms of finding someone to help with organization, it could be a good idea to look for someone who has experience with project management or administrative tasks. This person could provide guidance and structure to help keep things on track. Additionally, there are many tools and apps available that can help with organization, such as task lists and calendars, that could be useful for keeping everyone on the same page.

It's important to remember that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, and it's okay to need help in certain areas. Seeking support from others is a great way to address your challenges and move forward with your project. And, as you suggested, it's helpful to consider that even if planning and organizing are difficult for you, you may still have strengths in other areas that are important to your project's success. Good luck with your musical project!