Incontinence and autism

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Hey everyone - I’m wondering if anyone here experiences incontinence during the day and or night? I have had issues with it all my life at random times or ‘episodes.’ It’s been bad the last few years (wetting the bed almost every night) and in addition to feeling embarrassed about it, and annoyed with how much I have to spend on pull-ups, I’m starting to think my body will just always be like this. I started seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist who says that it’s all behavioral, in that, if I used the bathroom more regularly during the day the nighttime stuff wouldn’t happen. She knows that there is daytime wetting too, but since I have had some weeks where I don’t have any accidents, she doesn’t think there is anything actually wrong physiologically. To me it feels like I have poor muscle control down there, the same way I have poor coordination in the rest of my body. I’m feeling defeated because I have tried all the behavior changes and it still happens. And I feel like it’s all my fault. Does this happen to anyone else? Hoping to feel less alone

(Also I thought I posted before and wasn’t sure if it maybe got removed for some reason or if I accidentally deleted it, so I’m reposting, but sorry if it was removed)

It wasn't removed, just nobody bothered to reply.
I don't have incontinence so I can't really relate to this but hopefully someone else here will.

I wet the bed until about age 12.

Pelvic floor exercises are probably a good idea. And I guess it’s to be expected that the pelvic floor therapist will be optimistic. I guess time will tell.

Hopefully, the exercises will bring some appreciable improvement.

During Covid, I learned that a “wetting incident” is much less noticeable if I’m wearing dark pants.

I took long walks, like 4 or 5 miles. And even though I had a bottle for peeing into in my car, sometimes I just couldn’t make it back [like every couple of weeks]

And yes, it’s much less noticeable with dark shorts or pants.

im not incontinent

I'm incontinent during the day only when I'm anxious. If I'm not severely anxious I'm not incontinent.

How are pushups harmful?

I’m barely making it to the bathroom. It doesn’t help that I have type 2 diabetes, hypertension and type 3a chronic kidney disease.