"resting angry person face"

Post Reply New Topic

Does anyone else get accused of ulterior motives or similar stuff based off their default facial expresson?

I just brought my mom the mail. She asked why I'm smirking at her. I said I'm not. "Yes you are" she insists

Oi vey

Is this common with autistic people?

I usually get told to "cheer up" when I'm not even making any facial expressions at all.

Yes. I've been told I look angry/depressed/intimidating...always something negative.

Apparently we lack the neurons responsible for mirroring expressions when we are babies.
Something like that.

All I know is that I have to consciously create every expression on my face, cognitively.
Nothing is instinctive.
On top of that, expressions are exhausting and make my face physically uncomfortable.

----

To smile in conversation:

Think about situation and what emotion is supposed to be expressed
Decide it would be socially appropriate to smile for the sake of the other person
Decide if it should be a teeth smile or a lip smile
Decide how long to hold it
Decide if I'll actually face them or turn away (I don't do eye / face contact)
Forget what they were saying
Realise I missed the moment and it's no longer needed
Panic
Realise I have no idea what they're even saying now
Panic
Wait anxiously for another smile prompt
Think about that and stop listening
Stop speaking
Get tense
Look angry
Start walking away mid-conversation because I feel self-conscious
Blame self
Ruminate for the next five years or so, and start avoiding that person

I am an expressive ASD type, so this is not an issue for me. On the other hand, my NT husband is unexpressive so he gets this all the time. Ironically my daughter got the ASD from me and the unexpressive from him so she will fit the ASD stereotype for this. My ASD BFF is also the unexpressive type and before we knew we were Autistic, I would ask her if she were angry.

I'm too expressive.

I'd rather have a blank expression than a 'predictable' one.
My face betrays everything I feel and I don't like it. And no matter how I tried, I'm not able to 'mask' it if I'm in a less healthy state.

Unless I remember how to tense up somewhere by the temple, which I can do for days.
Being able to control it -- I know how to let it out a bit before scrambling mentally, close and lock a metamorphical box in my head.

And it'll hurt at least half of my whole face -- to a point that it's tender to touch, and imagine having a one sided migraine, cluster headache, toothaches, jaw ache and neck pain at the same time that lasts for several hours -- when I relax it after.


Yes.
My own 'masking' is the opposite of what most socially motivated aspies would do -- by being less expressive than being 'more appropriately expressive'.

And unlike the usual forms of masking, I felt more like myself whenever I 'suppress' my expressions.
It's less of an 'interface' or 'translator' based on feedback of others and more of a 'tighter grip on the driver's wheel' and 'assertion over myself'. Which is strange...

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.