How to persuade my parents to get a diagnosis

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I talked to my parents about the possibility of me having ADHD and being autistic last year (16 years old now, not financially independent). I told them how hard it is for me to make friends at school, and how my lack of focus affects my academic performance badly. As a result, I told them perhaps I should seek a diagnosis at least to get some medication for adhd. No matter what I said, however, they just wouldn’t listen. They do not want me to have any mental disabilities. ‘Whether you have it or not, if anyone knows that you’ve seen a psychiatrist before, they will stay away from you,’said my mother. ‘and this will affect your employment in the future. Some bad people at work will find out that you’ve seen mental health professional in past, and this is problematic for you.’
In addition, they think those who seek for a mental health professional are just mentally ill. They also said, ‘ people with adhd do not need medicine, they are talented and drugs will destroy their talent.’ Therefore, they do not encourage me to get medicine, and they think medicine doctors are just making a profit from selling drugs and so on.
Later my parents actually agreed to let me see a mental health professional, but they promised that last year, who knows if they’ve changed their mind. Worst of all, what if they are not willing to cooperate, like, they may make me sound less neurodivergent, especially in childhood, because they do not want me to be so-called ‘mentally ill’?
I sincerely that if I do seek professional help, no one will secretly look into my history and see that I’ve seen a psychiatrist before. Life is so difficult.

"failure to attend to a special education need" is a Child Protective Services violation.

I wish I got diagnosed when I was under 18.

Instead I got diagnosed at 21.

The Regional Center (united states) only provides services to clients diagnosed before 18. As a result, neither I, not many of the others on Wrong Planet, have ever had services for autism therapy, such as speech therapy.

Sometimes psychologists make misdiagnoses or fail to diagnose something they should have diagnosed.

Your social and academic difficulties could have plenty of causes. For example, some people are just more socially awkward than others. Not everyone is naturally academically inclined. (Nature versus nurture). Autism and other diagnoses, are just one possible cause.

Please talk to a trusted adult with authority about your situation. You do not have a legal right to consent to getting a diagnosis because you are under 18.

Your medical records are confidential.

Health Insurance Privacy Policy Act

Just because your parents are in denial doesn't mean you are not autistic.

However some people will treat you worse if they think you are autistic. But if you are autistic and you do not get a diagnosis, for whatever reason, some people will still notice that you are different from them and treat you worse.

However I am 39 and no coworker, this far, that I know of, has ever just found out that I am autistic.

All drugs have side effects

Different people taking the same drug have different side effects

Some drugs also have positive effects

Depending upon where you live, your parents may not even have a choice. Around here the age of majority for medical decisions is 13, but you'd have to find money for any related treatments somewhere as I don't know that they can be forced to pay.

Personally, I did have speech therapy without a diagnosis, and I have very mixed feelings about it. I compulsively copy the accents of people that I come into contact with and I've largely forgotten how I would naturally say certain words as a result. I also wound up being bullied mercilessly for other reasons anyways, so I'm not sure how much help the speech therapy was in that regard. And unfortunately, linguistic profiling is something that is very difficult to avoid, so people with abnormal speech patterns will be treated differently to some extent by most people.

But, I'd tend to err on the side of caution in terms of giving it to people that need it, especially with ASD where we're already missing so much information about what people are communicating. This isn't ABA, it does have at least some value for regular people.