Autism and empathy

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I've got nothing useful to add to this thread and now you've mentioned South Park I'm trying hard not to derail.

Sorry.

Maybe we should start a South Park thread, as I'm a fan as much as you are.

That's good to hear. It is how human communities should be. Not like some social media where troublemakers are encouraged and even popular *cough cough* Twitter.

I think it's also the way 99% of autistic people have experienced their NT peers saying things like "you're weird!" to our faces without any shame or remorse and not caring that it might hurt our feelings. Some autistic people have been called worse names like the R-word and worse. Just like that. Sometimes even by their own friends or family. If that's empathy then I don't know what isn't. I'm sure more autistic people have been hurt by NT people in their lives than most of them have ever hurt NTs.

This is why I argue against the "autism has lack of empathy" statement. People, both NT and autistic, need to understand this.

Yep. Imagine if I said to an NT person the same things they say to me 'you're weird' 'you're strange' etc. Imagine the anger and hurt! I sometimes say 'well you're rude aren't you' and they don't like that.

I say blunt things to them anyway and they get upset. If I said what I REALLY thought of them, they'd explode

I've had girls at school calling me really nasty things and they just carried on each day without feeling guilty or anything. I was ignored like I didn't matter.

Also I've had incidents in adulthood where NTs have been mean to me then got surprised at the consequences as if they hadn't considered my feelings in their passive-aggressive behaviour. Like when I done voluntary work years ago, there were some bitchy women there who didn't like some of my ADHD behaviour (I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD back then but I still didn't do it say anything that hurt anyone, I was just a bit too chatty, that's all). But they decided to call me out on my overly friendliness in the most humiliating way (I could tell by the way they humiliated me that it was planned). They made me feel like a 5-year-old, not to mention humiliated, and I burst into tears. I could tell they weren't expecting me to break down. So they obviously didn't have much empathy, and these women were in their 50s!
I left the voluntary job after that. It didn't help my confidence.

haha yes I've had things like that happen! People suddenly realising that their words and actions do hurt me, I'm not a robot or android. And then they were astounded at the consequences.

Of course some people are just born nasty, they just enjoy hurting others.

Oh tell me about gangs of women. When I used to take my daughter to and from school, the amount of bitchy and gang-like behaviour from the mums! Sooooo childish. Comments about people's appearance, excluding certain mums who'd done something 'wrong', whispering and giggling behind backs. Pathetic. Grow up.

I can't think what is wrong with you being over-friendly anyway. How can someone be over-friendly? I'm relieved you left that horrible job, what a bunch of bltches.

Exactly! They just wanted someone to pick on because I was a bit quirky. But that's no excuse to pick on someone though. It doesn't matter how much people justify the hurtful things people say and do, it's still unpleasant for the person on the receiving end and can make us feel bitter about the world.

It's a predator thing. Humans are predators, they pick the odd one out in a group and try to destroy them. Many humans can't rise above that state for whatever reason.

I don't justify hurtful things, I don't know why some people do. That makes me wrong, apparently.