Autism and males

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I think we’re all individuals who present uniquely no matter our gender.

I have opinions, but can't say anything better than what IsabellaLinton said!

P.S. I'm glad to be a guy and to be on the Spectrum. Both come with issues but the alternatives are far beyond my understanding.

I don't like being male, but I realised a good number of years ago that being an inept transwoman would be even more hazardous than being an inept male.

Autism is the problem. Not maleness per se.

you're born with autism, or you never get it at all ever. The fact that you are of a subset of the population that is more likely to have autism is irrelevant.

If you're a male NT it doesnt matter that males are more likely to have it because you will NEVER get it yourself.

If you're a male autistic then you were already born with it, and its the autism that is your problem. Not masculinity per se. And if you're a female autistic then -again its the autism thats the problem and not gender.

Its not like heart attacks. Old men are more likely to get heart attacks than old ladies. So conceivably a young boy might find that to be "unfair" because its a future danger. Not something that you get at birth that you already have. So it might make a person sad. But even then most folks dont think that way. Its not the kind of thing that would make someone want to not be the gender they are.

I've always felt as though I was a male German soldier trapped in the wrong body. I think I might have remedied the soldier part, but I still feel that I'm in the wrong body. I identify as Male and I wish to be treated as such. Those green pills are amazing.

I think women generally or extroverted men specifically are underdiagnosed. The gender ratio is getting lower every study (now 1:3?). Similar what Issy said, my ASD-like grandmother was institutionalized while my ASD-like grandfather was celebrated as the eccentric scientist. It may be that he fit the ASD stereotype better and might have been DX'd, while she was "crazy". Otherwise, the ASD gene appears to have gone down the female line in my family (mother, me, niece, daughter), although my therapist swears my son has the "female" presentation (and so can't get diagnosed). In my family being male means less likely to exhibit Autistic characteristics given the current definition (severe social impairment).

Putting that aside ---- if the question is whether to be an Autistic man or NT woman... in the Corporate workplaces I have known, Autistic men can achieve greater pay and workplace success than most women (NT or ASD). In the household, I see Autistic men or NT woman fairing well or not based on adherence or not to cultural norms (many are hurtful). Of course in different cultures it may be balanced (which ones?! I'll move). Being an ASD woman has benefits (I have coached my Allistic husband to buck gender norms and establish a good household for our 2e children, I have achieved more in the workplace than most NT females) and liabilities (I have not achieved the same workplace success as my ASD male peers, the "double duty" of work and childcare that women are subject to is especially painful). I would try to do my best in whatever gender or social role or diagnosis. It's annoying to have limitations, physical or social, whether by neurotype, gender or all types of human differences.