Do we get stuck on loving people?

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I've learned that if someone says 'you did something wrong' not to assume it's the thing I think it was and just ask 'what did I do wrong?' Then they can damn well explain it to me and listen to how stupid it sounds. It'll probably turn out they misunderstood me anyway!

I've learned that with gossip just to ignore it and definitely don't pass it on, even if it's an actual fact. If someone corners me and says 'what did Jane tell you about Fred?' I must never do what comes naturally and answer clearly and fully. I must keep it to myself. But I also shouldn't forget the gossip because it could then just slip out by accident.

Complicated eh. Maybe I should write gossip down in a journal and mark it Do Not Tell

I read subtext but I don't do it consciously. I just seem to know instinctively what to say back to a person based on more than just what they are saying to me. Conversation is so much more than words to me. It's in body language, eye contact, facial expressions and tone of voice. It's just something that comes natural to most people I think but I reckon it can be learned over time.

It's like when people are dropping hints during a conversation. I always know that they're dropping hints but I always choose to ignore it because I try and make them ask me for what they want in a more direct way. It's just a little game I like to play.

Also I like it when I make eye contact with someone and we both start laughing at the same time at the same thing but we've not actually exchanged words. It's like a magical moment.

I know this has got nothing to do with the topic BTW.

The few friends I have are all men (except my sister, but even with my sister she sometimes assumes I'm saying things that I'm not saying). Men are just easier for me to communicate with, maybe because they are generally more direct?

But my problem communicating with women is more the subtext they read into what I'm saying than the subtext I miss in what they are saying (probably because, since I miss it, I don't even know that I'm missing it, I only know that we are having a conversation I don't understand that seems to be made up of non sequiturs).

I might say, "I left the key in the bowl by the door" and what they are hearing is, "You never leave the key, or anything else for that matter, where you're supposed to, and I'm really steamed about it and I'm letting you know my displeasure right now."

I agree with all of that. Women seem to read subtext into what I'm saying, but I'm not putting subtext into it. I wouldn't know how.

I said on another autism site, what is exactly wrong with autistic people taking things 'too literally'? How can you take things too literally? Communication should be about communicating clearly and openly, not putting subtext into everything. Otherwise what is the point of communicating? We might as well just not talk or write to each other.