Very slow taper off of my antidepressant

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I have been on Paxil since 2000, so just shy of 23 years total. And for about 19 years before my ASD diagnosis. It's been about 6 months or so since I began a very slow taper with an ultimate goal of seeing how I feel off of it. I don't have to mask anymore, I don't work in an environment anymore that requires me to behave in a specific way. With those pressures removed I feel I owe it to myself to see who I am. I was on 40 mgs at bedtime and I have been as high as 60 mgs in the past. I'm down to 20 mgs and have been stable. At first, I experienced dizziness and anxiety. But, I sat with it and let myself feel it, over the last month or so I feel I've adjusted.

I know this stuff changes the brain chemistry, but I also know the brain can heal. My next adjustment will be to drop another 5mgs off of my daily dose every other day and sit with that for a while. I'm fully prepared to invest two full years into this weaning process and I think the reason so many people return to their previous doses is because they taper too quickly and get rebound depression and anxiety. Sometimes they are guided by doctors to do it that quickly, it's a set up for failure.

I'm not a doctor. This is not medical advice. This is just MY journey as an attempt to be myself. On antidepressants I eat everything, I procrastinate, I tend to think everything will workout without me doing my part. I was not this way before antidepressants. Now, I keep my home healthy tidy, I eat better, I accomplish things in a reasonable amount of time, etc... And with an accurate diagnosis, I'm not anxious.

Someone had made a post a while back about their journey and I just thought I'd add mine.

Good luck Persephone.

It sounds like you're doing everything right.

I just got off Ambien a few weeks ago after taking it nightly for over ten years.
It wasn't working and I only slept about 3 hours a day.
I don't know why I took it for so long.
I'm not even sure what side effects it had on me, but I'm trying to notice changes.

That's such an accomplishment. Congratulations!

Wow, that's a long time. Paxil has been my go to for when the OCD acts up, but I've never had it remain effective for more than a year or two.

This is exactly why one should generally talk with a doctor before making any reductions.

Good luck.

Thank you.
I'm not exactly going cold-turkey since my doctor replaced it with a different sedative, but it doesn't work either.
I get about the same three hours from it.
I think I'm destined not to sleep.
I feel a little less spaced out without the Ambien, but otherwise I haven't craved it or anything.

Hope you're continuing to do well.

The general feeling (opinion) is that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Technically, I ain't broke on the Paxil. I've been the picture of moderation. But, I remember a girl.... and I'm not that girl anymore. And I want to see if she's able to be resurrected. She wasn't perfect, but she had a lot of good attributes before she allowed society to say, "you must behave THIS way." I don't feel I'll get an endorsement by an MD to discontinue because I have been on it for so long. And, if I do, I don't feel they will taper off as slowly as I like. Doctors have a tremendous amount of experience placing people on anti-depressants, they have a tremendous amount of experience with patients being non-compliant with psych meds, but they don't have a tremendous amount of experience with patients who are compliant to a fault and then want to discontinue. They wean too quickly and the wean fails.

I'm doing an experiment on myself, if it fails, I'll go back to taking it. No harm, no foul.

Last edited by Persephone29 on 03 Jun 2023, 10:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks! Hope you are able to one day find a good sleep giver.

I dropped 10mg every third day. Currently I'm at 20mg, 20mg, then 10mg and I'll stick to that for about 3 months. Then, I'll drop to 10mg, 20mg every other day and stick to that for about 3 months. I have noticed an increase in tension in my neck. That's how I display anxiety, by clenching. But, I have also noticed that if I stay active I don't notice it. I was not meant to be a sedentary individual, was always on the move as a small child. It was when I had to 'attend' or sit still in class that my behaviors amped up.

So, I'm just flying around all over the place and losing weight (not intentionally, it's just a byproduct of being more active). Anti-depressants had me fat and happy like a prize Thanksgiving turkey. Now, the world likes me to be that way. But, I don't like it. I'm tired of being what the world wants.