Where modern life is going wrong

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13 Jun 2023, 1:51 pm

I wasn't sure what forum to put this in, but this quote is so true. Humans have become obsessed with celebrities, performers, public people instead of real people they know locally. We are losing interest and losing touch with reality, that's what is going wrong.

Quote:

"One of the striking characteristics of the new mass media — radio, television, and the movies — is that they give the illusion of face-to-face relationship with the performer. The conditions of response to the performer are analogous to those in a primary group. The most remote and illustrious men are met as if they were in the circle of one's peers; the same is true of a character in a story who comes to life in these media in an especially vivid and arresting way. We propose to call this seeming face-to-face relationship between spectator and performer a para-social relationship."
(Donald Horton & R. Richard Wohl (1956) Mass Communication and Para-Social Interaction, Psychiatry, 19:3, 215-229, DOI: 10.1080/00332747.1956.11023049)

Another definition of para-social relationships is:

Quote:

What Is a Parasocial Relationship?
A parasocial relationship is a one-sided relationship formed when one party extends energy, interest, and time and the other person doesn’t know they exist, according to the National Register of Health Services Psychologists.
https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotiona ... chologists.

I am wondering if this is why autistic people are finding life harder and harder- because we can't live like this in a world of fake relationships where nothing is real and rules are always changing.

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Last edited by KitLily on 13 Jun 2023, 2:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kitesandtrainsandcats
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13 Jun 2023, 2:00 pm

Hmm, didn't know that was a thing.
But then I don't watch TV and am not on TikTok or Instagram or all the rest of those things.

Situation brings to mind an editorial type of thing I've said for decades,
Contrary to what this society tells the world, (and itself) yes, the USA does have an official state religion, it is celebrity worship.

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KitLily
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13 Jun 2023, 2:07 pm

kitesandtrainsandcats wrote:

You've just proved my point in a way. I'm not on TikTok, Instagram or the others either. I think the majority of people, especially young ones, are though and it's getting out of hand.

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mrpieceofwork
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13 Jun 2023, 2:13 pm

it goes deeper...

"the powers that be" RELY on this "firehose" of entertainment and news and all other media to keep the truth of the structure they solely benefit from hidden from the masses. This structure has been fine tuned in the past 60 or so years, and it all unfortunately stems from the fact that people tend to be easily swayed, especially when they are forced to work so much there's literally no time to think about things.

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KitLily
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13 Jun 2023, 2:31 pm

mrpieceofwork wrote:

Yes, the celebrity worship has got too many outlets now, too many places people can get their fix, and it's overwhelming humanity. The powers that be are winning, aren't they.

Like that film Don't Look Up, have you seen that? Celebrity worship literally kills humanity.

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13 Jun 2023, 3:25 pm

"The Matrix" and "They Live" also

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KitLily
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14 Jun 2023, 2:31 am

mrpieceofwork wrote:

"The Matrix" and "They Live" also

I've seen The Matrix but not They Live.

I'm sure in the past people weren't obsessed with celebrities because as you say, they weren't in our faces 24/7. They were distant figures we only saw on the news every so often.

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14 Jun 2023, 4:46 am

I hadn't heard that term 'para-social' but I knew it was a thing because I've done that all my life. Radio presenters and laterly podcast hosts provide a sort of simulated social experience, much safer than real-life ones.

If you go in any magazine shop, you'll see magazines that treat soap opera story lines as if they were real-life news. Equally, you'll see magazines that present the real lives of people, often celebrities, as if they were storylines on a TV show. Many celebs are complicit in this, I know. The lines are blurring.

Thing is I'm not sure this is the cause, so much as it's the effect of a breakdown in normal social functioning.

Technology has enabled us to live very separate lives. We don't need communities to survive any more. I don't need to buy food locally because I can drive to a supermarket. I don't need the soap opera of my neighbour's lives because human interaction is piped into my home like any other 'utility'. But it's artificial and doesn't quite satisfy. So we crave more and more of it, like artificial sweeteners.

This seems so normal to us because it's all we've ever known but it's really only the last 100-150 years that have been like this.

And I think we're starting to notice that it's not healthy for us to be so separate. We lost something valuable in all the convenience and separation of a modern life. We have to find some way of getting it back. I think people thought that social media might be a part of that equation but its made the problem worse imo.

The hard bit for me is that a big part of me still wants the separation and convenience. Other people are hard work and I don't want to put in the effort, particularly. But I still want to connect with other humans.

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KitLily
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14 Jun 2023, 11:20 am

DuckHairback wrote:

Thing is I'm not sure this is the cause, so much as it's the effect of a breakdown in normal social functioning.

Technology has enabled us to live very separate lives. We don't need communities to survive any more. I don't need to buy food locally because I can drive to a supermarket. I don't need the soap opera of my neighbour's lives because human interaction is piped into my home like any other 'utility'. But it's artificial and doesn't quite satisfy. So we crave more and more of it, like artificial sweeteners.

This seems so normal to us because it's all we've ever known but it's really only the last 100-150 years that have been like this.

And I think we're starting to notice that it's not healthy for us to be so separate. We lost something valuable in all the convenience and separation of a modern life. We have to find some way of getting it back. I think people thought that social media might be a part of that equation but its made the problem worse imo.

That is all so true! Well said. I don't think most people have noticed it's not healthy though, especially the youngsters who've grown up with the internet. They don't know anything else, so they are happy to continue with these fake communities on TikTok or Tumblr etc.

Sadly I think the only thing that will enable us to get it back is if the internet stops working and we are forced to form communities again...

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15 Jun 2023, 12:54 pm

Up I immediately agreed until I got to:

KitLily wrote:

I am wondering if this is why autistic people are finding life harder and harder- because we can't live like this in a world of fake relationships where nothing is real and rules are always changing.

That made me stop and wrestle with the concepts.!
>-- Superficially, it is not obvious to me that NTs worshiping celebrities would affect Autistics.!
>-- Then I realized it could be yet another way "we" differ from "them" which could further isolate us...!
-X-O-X-which could make our lives harder.

This reminds me of a personal opinion I mentioned on another thread:

Quote:

Personal opinion: "Popular" culture is over-rated. It is often said that us Auties are a bit odd because we have "special" interests. But, I'll assert that NTs have "special" interests, too, but...because they are herd animals...they have to choose an interest that is popular with others in the herd. Examples: sports, celebrities...and popular culture. Our "flaw" is that we are interested in things not on the herd-approved list.

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kitesandtrainsandcats
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15 Jun 2023, 1:08 pm

Double Retired wrote:

This reminds me of a personal opinion I mentioned ... too, but...because they are herd animals...they have to choose an interest that is popular with others in the herd. Examples: sports, celebrities...and popular culture. Our "flaw" is that we are interested in things not on the herd-approved list.

I'm of the mind it wouldn't take much effort to demonstrate that opinion to be documentable fact.

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KitLily
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17 Jun 2023, 6:39 am

Double Retired wrote:

Up I immediately agreed until I got to:

KitLily wrote:

I am wondering if this is why autistic people are finding life harder and harder- because we can't live like this in a world of fake relationships where nothing is real and rules are always changing.

That made me stop and wrestle with the concepts.
Superficially, it is not obvious to me that NTs worshiping celebrities would affect Autistics.
Then I realized it could be yet another way "we" differ from "them" which could further isolate us...
which could make our lives harder.

This reminds me of a personal opinion I mentioned on another thread:

Quote:

Yes the first bit: I meant that if all relationships are based on image, popularity, shallow connections, of course autists aren't going to do well because we don't have carefully curated images, we aren't popular, we don't like shallow connections because we don't make a good first impression.

That fits in with your second bit too! We aren't in the herd so we are just getting more and more marginalised.

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