Are you "missing" some emotions?

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Not missing but

1. Not recognizing or getting them wrong.

2. There but weaker than typical.

I have had to repress most of my emotions since I was a teenager, for fear of getting my fat a$$ beaten to a pulp, whether it be by my so-called Friends, or by family.

I’m pretty much numb most of the time, unless 1) I’m performing a piece of music, or listening to some music that definitely hits me like a ton of bricks, or I get to remembering certain canine companions I’ve owned in the past, particularly a Shetland sheepdog that was on my lap every time I sat in one of the easy chairs in the living room (Mom had to put her down, due to cancer, 2 week after we buried Dad from cancer of the liver. This dog was the only thing Dad and I had in common. The only other thing that would set me off was a basset hound Mom owned (or rather, the basset owned us). That dog was a master manipulator. She had me pegged as a sap the second she laid eyes upon me.

I’ve been having these loneliness issues when I think about those dogs. I’ve been trying to get an appointment with UPMC psychological regarding the issues I’ve been having, among other things, like the nightmare I frequently have about this girl trying to get me to have sex with her when we were teenagers. (Which is part of the reason I can’t sleep at night.)

I’m addition, my parents, as well as my brothers, strongly believe in the adage “Money isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. I’ve gotten my fat a$$ beaten by my parents because I could never hold on to a buck.

Any reason I really don’t feel anything?

I don't really miss emotions.

But people can just and still misread them.

Like how my boss thought I was feeling excited.
So excited she thought I was overly enthusiastic and I'm denying it.

No, maam, it's because my body was shaking in pain, and I'm not expressing pain in ways people think it's pain, nor I identified with feeling with the pain because that's just my body not my thoughts and emotions as you assumed to be.

Also no, maam, I did not consumed caffeine and sugar.
I was feeling crappy. I'm having cramps and it's fricking distracting.

Then I took some pain meds for cramps.
I stop shaking. I stop acting agitated. I stop looking as if I'm 'excitedly enthusiastic and in denial about it'.

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I'm missing empathy for as*holes